TripsWithPets
A friend will do his best to prevent you from driving off a cliff. Your enemy will give you directions to the cliff and happily watch you plunge to your destruction. A friend cares enough to caution you about financial decisions or bad investments. Your enemy will be glad to see you lose your money. Your friend will warn you about a snake in the path. Your enemy will tell you to enjoy your walk.
A friend cares enough to help. Your enemy will let you sink. Thirty years ago, I made a move. I had a house payment in one town and an apartment rent in my new location. I had two car payments, a very sick wife and two small children. The financial burden was tough. I met with a group of 8 to 10 men every Thursday morning at 6 AM for prayer. These men prayed for me but came to me one day and said, “We’re going to collect $300 to $400.a month to give to you until you sell your house. I was surprised, thankful but declined the offer. They insisted. One man spoke up and said, “We’re not going to sit here and watch you sink.” I was very close to just giving my house back to the bank but fortunately I was able to sell it eventually and gained enough money to make a down payment on a house in my new location.
Your friend may not be able to save you. However, your friend will try to save you from sinking. Your enemy will find humor in your demise.
Your friend will not barrage you with your past mistakes. A real friend puts the past behind and moves forward. The only good thing about remembering past mistakes is so you won’t repeat them. Your enemy delights in rehashing ancient history when you failed, divorced, folded, went crazy and more. Your friend will focus with you on today. They will celebrate your current life and activities.
The Bible says the Devil is like a roaring lion seeking whom he might devour. Often, his most effective work is discouraging us and immobilizing our lives. The work of God is forgiving, forgetting, cleansing, burying and looking ahead to the goal line. The work of evil is to take you back to your old sins and failures.
The Bible talks about forgetting those things which are behind. The scriptures teach that God through Christ cleanses us of all our sins. He buries our sins in the depths of the sea to be remembered no more. God doesn’t remember them, so why do you worry about a failure that happened a hundred years ago? Remember Lot’s wife? She looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. Looking back turns us into salt or immobilizes us from going forward. You can’t go forward looking over your shoulder. The Bible says press toward the goal line. This means you look forward.
Choose who you spend time your time with very carefully. Live looking forward and avoid those who want to keep you looking back.
He is the author of 13 books including Uncommom Sense, the Spiritual Chocolate series, Grandpa's Store, Minister's Guidebook insights from a fellow minister. His column is published weekly in over 600 publications in all 50 states. The views expressed are those of the author and are not necessarily representative of any other group or organization. We welcome comments and views from our readers. Submit your letters to the editor or commentary on a current event 24/7 to editor@oursentinel.com.
As a committed member of Illinois’ law enforcement community interested in public safety and justice, I support the passage of SB1463 and its companion bill in the house, HB3120, and I hope other Illinoians will join me. Imposing harsh punishments on juveniles is an unfair and outdated practice that was never based on evidence and must be left behind.
In Illinois, “fine and fees” refer to administrative fees and financial penalties imposed by courts. The Juvenile Court Act of 1987 and other Illinois statutes set up a series of costs specifically for children and their families. But these costs have nothing to do with creating accountability or achieving victim restitution. The reality is a system that creates bigger barriers to youth rehabilitation.
These kids are likely still in school; they are unlikely to have jobs, and if they do, they have limited working hours and income. The system does not take into account their individual circumstances, and is, instead, designed for them to fail.
The new legislation is designed to streamline and simplify the juvenile justice process while reducing the cost for those involved by eliminating fines and fees in cases against minors. Right now, fines and fees can range from less than $50 to almost $1000 and add up quickly. These costs are higher in some counties than others. This legislation would address that problem and make justice equal across the state without undermining a judge’s ability to set victim restitution and order other non-financial conditions that focus on accountability and rehabilitation.
A 2016 study showed that financial penalties imposed on youth increased their risk of reoffending rather than acting as a deterrent. Unpaid debts have lifelong consequences that can impact job prospects, educational opportunities, and much more. Imposing debt on minors sets them up for continued failure and makes it increasingly difficult to change their circumstances without returning to criminal activity.
Passing this legislation won’t be a ‘get out of jail free’ card for youth and it won’t allow them to escape accountability for their actions. Instead, it will create space for new systems that are proven to increase public safety and improve outcomes for justice-involved youth. There are better options for rehabilitation and better ways for Illinois to spend money on the criminal justice system. In 2021, a study from the National Bureau of Economic Research showed that restorative justice programs for juvenile offenders reduced the probability of rearrest by 44%, while another study found that community-based interventions were not only more effective, but less costly to states. Better justice practices are possible, we owe it to young people to give them a better chance at success.
Not only are the policies bad for recidivism rates, but they are bad fiscal policy as well. The longer someone has criminal justice debt, the less likely it is to be collected. Comparing Illinois counties to counties in other states where juvenile court debt collection is relatively high, the courts there only collect about 4% of debt that is more than six months old; after three years, the debt is completely uncollectible. Illinois counties can’t rely on debt they may never collect to pay for the cost of the justice system. Even if they do collect, the actual revenue still won’t be enough to cover the resources used to administer the system: most small counties in Illinois take in less than $5,000 in juvenile justice costs every year. Juvenile fines and fees generate almost no revenue and the cost of collecting is often higher.
If passed, SB1463 will be applied automatically and retroactively, meaning that existing debts will be canceled and no new ones will be imposed on juveniles and their families. This will not be a loss of revenue for Illinois counties, instead it will be a way for those counties to better use its resources that would have been spent on debt collection.
Illinois must join the over 20 other states that have eliminated or reformed juvenile fines and fees. The system of fines and fees is causing youth offenders to fail and we as Illinoians are failing them by not working for change. This legislation, SB1463/HB3120, is a critical step for public safety and for creating better systems of justice for Illinois’ juvenile offenders.
Photo: PhotoNews Media/Clark Brooks
You may have lost your mother early in life or never really knew your mother. My two sons were only 17 and 20 when their mother passed at the ae of 49 from multiple sclerosis. Mother’s Day is a tough day for them and many others around the world. This day may be very difficult for you.
My mother has also passed on but I remember her as one of the hardest working persons I’ve ever known. On Sunday and often during the week she loved getting dressed up and going to church. One of the greatest enjoyments of her life was singing in a gospel quartet with my dad and another lovely couple.
Eula Hinkle Mollette was just the best mom ever. Yes, I’m prejudiced of course.
Mom helped me with my homework. She washed and ironed my clothes. She put breakfast on the table for me every morning. She had something for me to eat every day when I came home from school. She read to me when I was a child and took care of me when I was sick. During the summer we would carry water from our nearby creek to wash clothes. Typically, we caught rain water in large tubs to wash our clothes but summer months often brought dry weather. We had lunch together every day during the summer break. Usually, it was a homemade sandwich and sometimes a candy bar from Grandpa Hinkle’s grocery store. I once wanted root beer and she said, “You won’t like it.” I debated that I would but I didn’t. I was stuck with the root beer.
She never hesitated to set me straight with a peach tree limb across my back side.
If she were alive today, I would try to make up for all the things I didn’t do or didn’t consider doing. I always had good intentions for all the things I might try to do for mom and dad but they slipped from this life before I had the opportunity.
Missed opportunities happen often to most of us. We have good intentions but often we don’t have the ability to act on those intentions. I’m envious of those who are able to do a lot for their moms and dads and wish that I could have done more.
However, so often what we can do are the simplest things that mean so much. Today, I don’t want my family to do anything for me but call me or visit me occasionally. A hug and some shared times are the most meaningful to me. Some good quality time is actually the best gift we can give to mom, dad or anyone.
Our time is fleeting for us all. To be generous with a visit, conversation and sharing of life is probably the most precious gift we can give.
Mother’s Day is coming. Set aside your best gift – your time.
Dr. Glenn Mollette is a syndicated American columnist and author of Grandpa's Store, American Issues, and ten other books. He is read in all 50 states. The views expressed are those of the author and are not necessarily representative of any other group or organization.
This article is the sole opinions of the author and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Sentinel. We welcome comments and views from our readers. Submit your letters to the editor or commentary on a current event 24/7 to editor@oursentinel.com.
Charles and Viktor (both names changed to protect their identities) had been friends for over a decade. Drinking buddies and lacrosse teammates in college, they found jobs in the same city. With similar interests, they became close friends.
A few years before the 2020 election, Charles started to change. His political views became increasingly intolerable. Viktor's wife could no longer stand to be around Charles, as his misogynistic and racist comments were a source of constant disgust and discussion.
Just like any other relationship, some friends are only meant to be part of your life for a reason or a season, rather than a lifetime. The problem is, no one really talks about how to evaluate your friendships and let go of the ones that are no longer adding value to your life.
While an overwhelming majority (77%) of respondents in a recent Bumble For Friends survey* believe that friends are one of the main factors to a happy and healthy life, 42% have never intentionally evaluated the existing friendships in their lives, and 1 in 4 (25%) agree that they are stuck in outdated friendships that no longer serve them.
Danielle Bayard Jackson, Bumble For Friends’ friendship expert, shares her advice on how to intentionally assess your friendships so that you can find peace in letting go of the ones you’ve outgrown. She suggests starting by asking yourself these questions:
Does the friendship feel like an obligation?
Many people have circumstantial friendships, meaning relationships that are mostly based on convenience, such as taking the same classes or having the same hobbies. Bumble For Friends’ survey* found that 1 in 3 (35%) people have these kinds of friendships — they're common, and they add value to life by offering a certain kind of companionship. However, when these friendships become obligatory, meaning that you maintain them out of a sense of duty, it’s time to reassess.
Why are you maintaining the friendship?
It took almost a year for Charles and Viktor to go on their own separate ways. They would talk on holidays and occasionally do lunch a couple of times a year to catch up. Vicky was happy, and Viktor felt relieved he no longer had to endure his friend's ultra-right banter.
One of the most common reasons why people hold on to friendships that no longer serve them is that they feel they owe it to history. They may also feel scared that if they let a friendship go, they’ll have a hard time finding new friendships. If the reasons you’ve elected to keep a friendship don't include a value-add to your life, then it might be time to mend or end the relationship.
What is maintaining the friendship costing you?
Holding on to a friendship that you aren’t genuinely interested in maintaining can lead to resentment, as you’re investing time, energy and emotional bandwidth that you most likely can’t afford. It can also impact your other friendships, as you’re dedicating space that you could be using on friends that fill your cup. There are only so many hours in the day, so it’s important to focus on friendships that positively impact your life.
If you decide that it’s time to part ways with the friendship, Jackson recommends a three-step formula for approaching the conversation:
“Sometimes letting go is the first step toward creating a stronger friendship circle,” says Jackson. “Ending a friendship that no longer fits doesn't make you mean or disloyal. Instead, it creates space for the both of you to be better positioned to invite new connections into your lives.”
If things have changed in your life and you feel like you've maybe outgrown a friendship, Jackson suggests intentionally doing things to form new friendships — whether that be joining group activities, asking friends of friends to tag along to their next event, or downloading Bumble For Friends, the friendship-finding mode on the Bumble app. By putting yourself out there, you’ll be on the right track to creating a stronger social circle around you.
For more expert advice on building (and maintaining) strong friendships, visit bumble.com/bff.
New Illinois law protects people attending court, making them “privileged from civil arrest inside state courthouses and with...