Coping with violent trauma from the past during the holiday season

by Paul Arco
OSF Healthcare

ROCKFORD - The holidays are typically a time for joy and celebration with loved ones. But for some survivors of violent crime, the holidays can also be filled with stress, anxiety and memories of not-so happy times.

“For other folks it can be the holidays that triggers something because maybe you’ve lost a loved one to gun violence or you witnessed losing that person and you’re going into the holidays and yes, it happened 20 years ago; that doesn’t mean you’re not going to have the symptoms and side effects of that loss,” says Therasa Yehling, manager for the OSF Strive Trauma Recovery Center at OSF HealthCare Saint Anthony Medical Center in Rockford.

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Therasa Yehling

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Yehling says those side effects include anxiety, depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after a trauma such as gun violence, assaults, domestic violence, human trafficking and armed violence or robbery in which they are the victim or witness.

The events causing the trauma could have occurred two weeks ago or 10 years ago. There is no expiration date on the grief that happens as a result of violent crime, Yehling adds.

“When we talk to people we actually try to get a full picture of the trauma in their lifetime," says Yehling. "We’re finding that some people have had a lot of trauma starting in their childhood all the way up. Really then, a new traumatic event can stir up all the old stuff that maybe we’ve never dealt with and the symptoms of trauma have rendered that person almost catatonic and they can’t function.”

Yehling offers several basic tips for violent crime survivors during the holidays.

• Trust your grief and your healing
• Experience the grief and don’t run from it
• Say no to things that make you uncomfortable and form healthy boundaries
• Create new traditions
• Make a list of things you’re grateful for this year
• Do something kind for someone else

If none of those things seem to help or if these feelings are interrupting daily activities Yehling says it’s time to seek professional help as soon as possible. She does warn that seeking support will also mean doing a deep dive into what’s causing your feelings.

“I think people have to understand that if someone is going to talk about something very traumatic, such as sexual assault, domestic violence, human trafficking – it is important that they talk to someone who can help them through that process, therapeutically," says Yehling. "Otherwise you’re helping them to relive it and that’s about it.”

Yehling adds that our expectations of having the perfect time with family during the holiday season are often unrealistic. While that can be stressful enough, it becomes worse when you add the complexities of being a survivor of violent crime. Yehling encourages family and friends to go slowly and give their loved one the time and space they need to get through the holidays.

“I just think whether you have trauma or not everyone needs to be gentle and kind and supportive,” Yehling says.

For more information on help for survivors of violent crimes, visit OSF HealthCare.

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Key Takeaways: 

• The holidays can trigger emotions for survivors of violent crime.
• Violent crime includes gun violence, assaults, domestic violence or robbery.
• Side effects include anxiety, depression or post-traumatic disorder.
• Ways to cope include saying no to things that make you uncomfortable, create new traditions or do something nice for someone else.
• If nothing else helps, seek professional help as soon as possible.

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Advocacy groups are pushing state Illinois lawmakers to pass domestic violence firearms bill

by Mark Richardson
Illinois News Connection

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Illinois enacted a "red flag" gun law in 2018 that gives courts authority to use emergency orders to remove guns from people who are a danger to themselves and others. However, Illinois has rarely used such emergency orders.

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CHICAGO - Domestic violence and gun violence prevention advocates are urging the Illinois General Assembly to pass a bill to strengthen state laws protecting people who file restraining orders.

The proposed law is named for domestic violence victim Karina Gonzalez, who was shot and killed by her husband. The measure would require law enforcement officers to quickly remove guns from people who have orders of protection against them.

Amanda Pyron, executive director of The Network, says Karina's Bill would close numerous loopholes in the current law.

"Karina's Bill will clarify and strengthen the law to give law enforcement a clear directive to remove the firearm from the home when an order of protection is granted with the firearm remedy by a judge," she contended. "So this isn't something that survivors can do on their own."

Gonzalez and her 15-year-old daughter were shot and killed shortly after obtaining a restraining order in July against her husband Jose Alvarez. Backers are asking legislators to pass the bill during the year-end session, which begins October 24th. Gun rights advocates oppose it, claiming it violates the Second Amendment.

Illinois enacted a "red flag" gun law in 2018 that gives courts authority to use emergency orders to remove guns from people who are a danger to themselves and others. However, Illinois has rarely used such emergency orders.

State Sen. Celina Villanueva, D-Chicago, said the presence of firearms in the home significantly increases the likelihood of death or serious injury.

"One research study of intimate partner homicides found that among victims who had orders of protection, one-fifth of victims were killed within two days of the order being issued. About one-third were killed within a month. This is unacceptable," she continued.

Records show that Gonzalez reported her husband's abusive behavior to the police and took out an order of protection against him. The order required Alvarez to voluntarily surrender the gun and move out of the house. He did neither. Alvarez was charged with first-degree murder and is being held without bail.

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