The Sentinel: 02/06/25

Relationships & Dating |
Wonder if it is worth it or should I just bow out

Whether you’re swiping through apps or deep into a decades-long partnership, dating and relationships are as unique as the stars in the heavens. Sometimes we all can use a little help, shared wisdom, or inspiration with our love lives.

Hi all -

I find myself in dire need of sincere counsel, as I am increasingly convinced that my romantic life has taken on the unfortunate semblance of a rom-com wherein I alone remain bereft of the script. I'm 31, will defend my thesis this May, and have a great job lined-up.

My boyfriend, aged 32, embodies the quintessential extrovert—gregarious, enamored with nightlife, and perpetually surrounded by a coterie of approximately twenty friends who reside in close proximity and convene incessantly. Initially, I admired his vivacity and character.

In stark contrast, I possess a solitary confidant and derive immense satisfaction from tranquil evenings accompanied by my piano and Netflix. For New Year's, he wanted to party with his bros all night, which didn't interest me. I spent the evening feeling lonely and wishing I had someone who’d rather stay in with me and watch movies or something.

Here’s the thing: I try so hard to be a good girlfriend. I'm kind, supportive, thoughtful, and I even play video games with him - and I hate them if I'm honest. Truth be told, sometimes it feels like he doesn’t appreciate me at all. I'm over here feeling like I’m putting in 110% and getting… what, exactly? A guy who splits the bill 50/50 on the rare occasion we go out and spends half the time on his phone or gaming, ignoring mostly.

While certain positive attributes persist—he exhibits amiability, shares wonderful moments of laughter, and occasionally bestows modest tokens of affection—the accumulation of negative indicators cannot be ignored. His irritability, indolence, and predilection for hanging out with female friends several nights a week, including one for whom he formerly harbored romantic inclinations, gets under my skin.

So, here’s my question: Am I overthinking this, or is this relationship just not it? Should I stick it out and hope things get better, or is it time to cut my losses and find someone who actually wants to stay in on a Friday night?

My family and friends all think that I'm way out of his league - appearance and personality wise. Help a girl out, because I’m starting to think they might be right.

Should I stay, or should go

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IHSA announces 2024-25 officials of the year

BLOOMINGTON - The Illinois High School Association (IHSA) announced its annual list of Officials of the Year for the 2024-25 season across the 22 IHSA athletic events.

"Officials are vital to the experience of high school student-athletes in Illinois, and we are proud to be able to honor these outstanding individuals as IHSA Officials of the Year," said IHSA Executive Director Craig Anderson. "High school sports do not exist without them and the thousands of officials around the state who preside over contests and meets every day."

To be considered for this honor, an official must first be nominated by an Officials Association recognized by the IHSA or by an IHSA administrator. IHSA staff members then vote on the winners based on factors such as character, skill as an official, and levels worked in the IHSA State Series.

According to a survey conducted almost three years ago by the National Federation of High Schools, the average age of a sports official is over 50 years old. Officials across every sport make a significant difference in the lives of hundreds of high school and junior high athletes every year by administering the rules objectively, enforcing them with consistency and common sense.

"This award only recognizes a small percentage of our dedicated officials, but we know they are all worthy of our respect and admiration," Anderson added. "We understand they do not officiate for awards or recognition, but it remains a special tradition for the IHSA to honor them."

The award winners will be recognized at July's IHSA Officials Conference held in Normal on July 11-12.

IHSA OFFICIALS OF THE YEAR

Boys Soccer
Pasquale Mattera, Arlington Heights

Girls Soccer
Mike McDermott, Lockport

Football
Chris Terpstra, Lisle

Boys Basketball
Richard Doman, Gibson City

Girls Basketball
Thomas Strohl, Neoga

Boys Lacrosse
Nitin Rao, Northbrook

Girls Lacrosse
Elizabeth Demara, Bloomington

Baseball
Jim Urbanek, Chicago Heights

Softball
Dale McConnell, Centralia

Girls Volleyball
Jeffrey Crow, Mt. Vernon

Boys Volleyball
Kym McKay, Batavia

Boys Swimming & Diving
Emil Barbato, Schaumburg

Girls Swimming & Diving
Randy Clark, Bloomingdale

Water Polo
Joseph Trickey, DeKalb

Cross Country
Jesse Rocha, West Chicago

Boys Track & Field
Michael Gibbs, River Forest

Girls Track & Field
Tiffany Seay, Chicago

Girls Gymnastics
Betty Axelson-McClelland, South Barrington

Competitive Cheerleading
Amber Cruser, Waterloo

Competitive Dance
Allison Stewart, Grayslake

Boys Wrestling
Dave Fellinger, Chicago

Girls Wrestling
Dr. Dan McDonnell, Morris

Schools urged to push back against new immigration policies

by Judith Ruiz-Branch
Illinois News Connection

Stacy Davis Gates, CTU president, reaffirmed the state's sanctuary status and the union's fight to uphold it.

CHICAGO - As Illinois parents and children continue to be on high alert amid fears of school immigration raids, school officials are publicly advocating for the rights and safety of students. Circulating reports of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents showing up to some schools across the state continue. School attendance is dropping in some areas. This week, the Chicago Teachers Union staged walk-ins at several schools and teachers at more than a hundred others joined them as part of a national day of action against the Trump administration's deportation sweeps.

school classroom

Photo: Erik Mclean/Unsplash

Stacy Davis Gates, CTU president, reaffirmed the state's sanctuary status and the union's fight to uphold it.

"We are the only school district in the state that has any policy protocol regarding sanctuary to date," she said.

Last month, State Superintendent of Schools Tony Sanders issued a directive to schools across the state reminding them of their obligation to protect students' rights within their buildings. It outlined protections of students regardless of their immigration status and how to prepare if ICE agents show up.

During a recent school visit, Governor J.B. Pritzker called the increase in empty desks a big concern.

Gaby Pacheco, CEO of Dream.US, a national scholarship fund for undocumented students, says the policies and statements coming from the Trump administration are inciting ongoing trauma with dire consequences.

"The stress that these children are facing is unimaginable. With the constant threat of raids and the cruel scare tactics being used, their young lives are being consumed by fear. We've heard horrifying words from the Trump administration, words that claim there is no mercy for them," she said.

U.S. border czar Tom Homan accused Pritzker of scaring children after misinformation circulated about ICE showing up at a predominantly Latino elementary school in Chicago. Residents, however, continue to push back against the Trump administration's immigration policy changes. On Monday, some businesses and restaurants across Chicago closed, and some students stayed home from school as part of a nationwide boycott known as "A Day Without Immigrants."

Other interesting articles:

What the ...??? Accessibility barriers still exist for veterans, people with disabilities

Photo: Ahmet Arslan/Unsplash

NewsUSA - Despite the Americans with Disabilities Act being the law of the land for nearly 35 years, a startling new survey from Paralyzed Veterans of America shows accessibility remains an unfilled promise for millions of Americans.

According to the survey, over 80% of people using a mobility device faced an accessibility barrier in the past 6 months. PVA members (Veterans with spinal cord injuries or diseases, like MS and ALS) cite sidewalks, restaurants, and retailers as common places with restricted access for wheelchair users and others with mobility devices.

Meanwhile, one third of respondents missed appointments and important events because of barriers, and one quarter leave and never return to inaccessible establishments.

These barriers take a devastating emotional toll on disabled Veterans and people with mobility disabilities. When asked how barriers made them feel, respondents reported feeling subhuman and demeaned, and some reported lowered self-esteem.

PVA’s survey, conducted in April 2024, asked 1,644 individuals, including PVA members, adults with mobility disabilities, mothers with children aged 5 years and younger, and individuals age 65 and older, about their accessibility experiences.

In response to the survey, PVA is launching a new campaign, “Barriers Still Exist,” to draw attention to the accessibility challenges faced by Veterans and others with disabilities. It includes a PVA petition calling for improved ADA compliance across the country.

The campaign also features a series of public service announcements highlighting the everyday obstacles of inaccessibility. In the newest PSA, Barriers Still Exist – RJ’s Everyday Fight, we follow U.S. Army Veteran and PVA member RJ Anderson, as he encounters endless accessibility barriers on his way to a job interview.

“As a paralyzed veteran, I know firsthand how drastically inaccessibility can alter the course of any given day,” said Anderson. “Anything from a crack in a sidewalk to a revolving door cannot only derail my plans but also be extremely dangerous for people with mobility disabilities, like me. When public paths and buildings are inaccessible, it communicates a lot – it says my plans don’t matter, my needs don’t matter, and I don’t matter. No one deserves that.”

PVA is leading the fight to build a world where accessibility for all is the norm, not the exception. Everyone can become part of the solution.

Visit PVA.org/BarriersStillExist to watch the “Barriers Still Exist” PSAs, share them on social media, and sign the Accessibility for All petition.

When our communities are accessible, everyone wins.

Why do politicians keep blaming DEI for disasters when it’s a laughably lie

At best, these false claims help politicians cover for corporate misdeeds. At worst, they foster division for its own sake. Neither makes us safer.

by Peter Certo
OtherWords

In this chaotic news cycle, America’s worst plane crash in a generation already feels a generation old.

But the administration’s response to the tragic January collision that killed 67 people over the Potomac is worth revisiting. Not only because the loved ones of those lost deserve answers, but because it highlights a MAGA playbook we’ve seen repeatedly now — and we’ll see again very soon.

Trump suggested that unqualified minority hires caused the accident ...

We don’t yet know what caused the crash. But shortly before it, President Trump disbanded a Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) safety committee, fired the FAA administrator, and implemented a federal hiring freeze despite a shortage of air traffic controllers. (Staffing at the local tower was “not normal” the night of the collision, The New York Times reported.)

Speculation has even emerged that Elon Musk, the unelected billionaire bureaucrat who’s been illegally gutting the federal government, urged the FAA administrator’s firing in retaliation for past fines against his SpaceX company.

Did any of that contribute? That’s for a proper investigation to determine. But one thing’s for sure: It wasn’t the “DEI” initiatives President Trump immediately blamed.

Trump suggested that unqualified minority hires caused the accident because the prior administration thought “the workforce was too white.” When pressed for even a shred of evidence, he shrugged that it was “common sense.” Administration figures like Vice President Vance stuck with the claim even after learning that both pilots involved were white.

The claim was ridiculous, but it sucked up attention that might have gone to the Trump administration’s own moves instead. And that’s exactly why we keep seeing lies like these — to protect incompetent politicians and the corporate interests that prop them up.

Once you realize that, you’ll start noticing it everywhere.

For instance, there’s ample evidence that climate change contributed to Southern California’s horrific wildfires this winter. But rather than implicate the campaign-contributing fossil fuel companies that have supercharged these disasters, right-wing influencers blamed “DEI” hires like women firefighters.

About a year ago, when a foreign cargo ship destroyed Baltimore’s Francis Scott Key Bridge, the same crowd had nothing to say about regulating shipping companies or infrastructure safety. Instead, they just started calling the city’s Black mayor, Brandon Scott, the “DEI mayor.”

At best, these obviously false claims suck the oxygen out of any discussions that might involve the incompetence of politicians or misdeeds of their corporate supporters.

And finally, we saw an earlier version of this script when a Norfolk Southern train derailed in East Palestine, Ohio, spilling toxic chemicals and burning them up in a noxious cloud over the impoverished town.

Norfolk Southern had skimped on maintenance, overstretched its workers, and plowed the savings into stock buybacks rather than safety. The company had also poured money into Ohio’s statehouse, which killed a bipartisan rail safety bill the company had lobbied against.

The talking heads on Fox News didn’t have anything to say about that — or about President Trump’s decision to nix an Obama-era regulation to prevent accidents like these during his first term.

Instead, right-wing multimillionaires like Tucker Carlson and Charlie Kirk claimed the accident happened because President Biden didn’t care about the poor whites of rural Ohio. (Kirk even claimed the episode proved there was a whole “crusade against white people.”)

At best, these obviously false claims suck the oxygen out of any discussions that might involve the incompetence of politicians or misdeeds of their corporate supporters. At worst, they foster division for its own sake. Neither makes us safer.

As Trump, Musk, and their allies illegally purge federal agencies and open the floodgates to corporate malfeasance of all varieties, more disasters like these are almost inevitable. And just as inevitably, they’ll blame DEI, immigrants, LGBTQ people, or some other scapegoat when that happens.

For our hard-earned tax dollars, most of us just want the government to protect our communities and our planet — even when that’s less profitable for a few corporations. But to get that, we’ll have to pull together across the divides their backers like to drive between us.