Want to achieve your goals? Write them down

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StatePoint - If you have a big idea, goal or dream about helping others, writing down your vision can help. Studies show you’re 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down.

Take it from Marcy Bursac. After reviewing thousands of handwritten entries, Pilot Pen selected her as the newest winner of the G2 Overachievers Grant, which rewards an exceptional individual who goes beyond their everyday job and responsibilities to make a difference in the lives of others.

A technical analyst at a cybersecurity firm by day, Bursac is also an author, podcaster, wife and mother. She has used her technological expertise to develop an app for “The Forgotten Adoption Option,” her book and platform that helps facilitate adoptions for children in foster care. As an adoptive parent herself, she made it her mission to make it easier for other families to adopt children from foster care, helping to place as many as possible in loving homes.

“Some types of adoption are cost-prohibitive for many families and can take years,” says Bursac. “The reality is that there are thousands of children who need a forever family today, and foster care adoption is an option that can make this dream more financially affordable for more families.”

Marcy has already helped more than 12,000 families through the foster care adoption process. She plans to use the grant money to fund her continued efforts to unite children in foster care with their forever families.

Inspired? Write down your own goals and aspirations and include all the little details required to bring them to life. Be sure to reach for a high-quality writing instrument like G2, the longest lasting gel ink pen. To learn more about the G2 Overachievers Grant competition or to enter or nominate someone you know, visit G2Overachievers.com.

“We know firsthand that we are so much more likely to achieve our goals when we put pen to paper,” says Ariann Langsam, vice president of marketing for Pilot Pen. “That’s why we pride ourselves on both providing the tools that people can use to make a difference in the lives of others, and recognizing and amplifying the work of individuals who are making those efforts.”

Moving on: When it's time to break up with a friend?

Photo: Tyler Nix/Unsplash

"Sometimes letting go is the first step toward creating a stronger friendship circle."

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Holding on to a friendship that you aren't genuinely interested in maintaining can lead to resentment.

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Brandpoint - Friendships are an essential part of living a fulfilling life.

Charles and Viktor (both names changed to protect their identities) had been friends for over a decade. Drinking buddies and lacrosse teammates in college, they found jobs in the same city. With similar interests, they became close friends.

A few years before the 2020 election, Charles started to change. His political views became increasingly intolerable. Viktor's wife could no longer stand to be around Charles, as his misogynistic and racist comments were a source of constant disgust and discussion.

Just like any other relationship, some friends are only meant to be part of your life for a reason or a season, rather than a lifetime. The problem is, no one really talks about how to evaluate your friendships and let go of the ones that are no longer adding value to your life.

While an overwhelming majority (77%) of respondents in a recent Bumble For Friends survey* believe that friends are one of the main factors to a happy and healthy life, 42% have never intentionally evaluated the existing friendships in their lives, and 1 in 4 (25%) agree that they are stuck in outdated friendships that no longer serve them.

Danielle Bayard Jackson, Bumble For Friends’ friendship expert, shares her advice on how to intentionally assess your friendships so that you can find peace in letting go of the ones you’ve outgrown. She suggests starting by asking yourself these questions:

Does the friendship feel like an obligation?

Many people have circumstantial friendships, meaning relationships that are mostly based on convenience, such as taking the same classes or having the same hobbies. Bumble For Friends’ survey* found that 1 in 3 (35%) people have these kinds of friendships — they're common, and they add value to life by offering a certain kind of companionship. However, when these friendships become obligatory, meaning that you maintain them out of a sense of duty, it’s time to reassess.

Why are you maintaining the friendship?

It took almost a year for Charles and Viktor to go on their own separate ways. They would talk on holidays and occasionally do lunch a couple of times a year to catch up. Vicky was happy, and Viktor felt relieved he no longer had to endure his friend's ultra-right banter.

One of the most common reasons why people hold on to friendships that no longer serve them is that they feel they owe it to history. They may also feel scared that if they let a friendship go, they’ll have a hard time finding new friendships. If the reasons you’ve elected to keep a friendship don't include a value-add to your life, then it might be time to mend or end the relationship.

What is maintaining the friendship costing you?

Holding on to a friendship that you aren’t genuinely interested in maintaining can lead to resentment, as you’re investing time, energy and emotional bandwidth that you most likely can’t afford. It can also impact your other friendships, as you’re dedicating space that you could be using on friends that fill your cup. There are only so many hours in the day, so it’s important to focus on friendships that positively impact your life.

If you decide that it’s time to part ways with the friendship, Jackson recommends a three-step formula for approaching the conversation:

• Show that you’re intentional about the decision. Say, “Listen, I’ve been thinking a lot lately….”
• Address your needs without blaming the other person. Use ‘I’ statements as much as you can; rather than “you are never there for me when I need you...,” try saying, “I need friendships in my life that can prioritize and support me in times of need.”
• Tell them how much you appreciate them and what your intention is for moving forward. This could be, “I have appreciated our friendship so much, and you have been such an integral part of my life. However, I won’t be able to show up in this friendship in the same way that I have before.”

“Sometimes letting go is the first step toward creating a stronger friendship circle,” says Jackson. “Ending a friendship that no longer fits doesn't make you mean or disloyal. Instead, it creates space for the both of you to be better positioned to invite new connections into your lives.”

If things have changed in your life and you feel like you've maybe outgrown a friendship, Jackson suggests intentionally doing things to form new friendships — whether that be joining group activities, asking friends of friends to tag along to their next event, or downloading Bumble For Friends, the friendship-finding mode on the Bumble app. By putting yourself out there, you’ll be on the right track to creating a stronger social circle around you.

For more expert advice on building (and maintaining) strong friendships, visit bumble.com/bff.

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*Research was commissioned by Bumble and carried out online by Censuswide in February 2023 amongst a sample of more than 1,000 US adults who have either attended college or are currently in college.

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Health issues like depression, heart disease & anxiety are linked to toxic workplaces

by Paul Arco
OSF Healthcare

The five components of a healthy workplace include: protection from harm, connection and community, work-life harmony, mattering at work and opportunity for growth.

A new year brings about many possible changes – promises to eat better, exercise more, stop smoking, save money, and so on. Another priority for some is to improve their work situation.

If that’s you, there may be no better time than the present, especially after the U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy released a report that links a toxic workplace culture to health issues such as heart disease, depression and anxiety.

"A toxic workplace is basically any work setting where you're dealing with any sort of psychological stress, where you're feeling nervous, you have some fear, anxiety, sadness, depression – things like that," says Victor Mendoza, a behavioral health provider with OSF HealthCare. "If you start noticing those things in your own workplace, that can be something we would call a toxic environment."

According to the U.S. Surgeon General, the five components of a healthy workplace include: protection from harm, connection and community, work-life harmony, mattering at work and opportunity for growth.

Mendoza says now is the time for organizations to assess their relationship with employees – to create a sense of connection among workers, show them they are important, and support their professional needs.

"First of all, if they haven't added these five components, they should probably try to because I think that's a good foundation to what a healthy work environment should be like," says Mendoza. "You want to have a workplace where you feel comfortable, you feel heard, you feel like there is upward mobility, and that that people care for you. That you're not just a number to them but that you actually are a human, and they understand and are willing to be empathic to your situation. And if there is a concern, they're open to listen to you."

There are many ways feeling stressed or miserable can manifest in an unhealthy work environment such as increasing the risk for cardiovascular disease, increasing the chance of high blood pressure, weakening immune systems, causing headaches and increasing anxiety and stress. Mendoza says physical symptoms can include stomach aches, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and racing heartbeat.

The report comes during an uncertain time in workplace culture due to the COVID pandemic, when employees are seeking more flexible opportunities including working remotely or a hybrid schedule. Mendoza adds that the pandemic also affected our routines, and when routines are changed it can impact our mental health.

"It's been really tough for a lot of people," says Mendoza. "When all this started with the pandemic, a lot of people were having anxiety about what was going to happen. People feared losing their jobs, and a lot of people did lose their jobs, sadly, and that was very hard for them. They had to switch careers. A lot of them were lucky they were able to keep their jobs, but they had to work from home and that that created some stress as well even though we do have good technology."

There are things, however, you can do to cope with your workplace stress. Mendoza suggests keeping track of the stressors in your job, developing healthy responses such as exercise, getting enough sleep and learning how to relax and take time to recharge by unplugging from work, and making sure to use your vacation days.

Mendoza says it’s easy for some people to feel guilty about work-related issues. The most important take home message is to first take care of yourself, and not let a stressful environment affect your health. 

"Sometimes you can only do so much and you have to advocate for yourself, and you have be aware when this happens," he adds. "So set up good boundaries with your workplace, make sure that you're taking some time off work for self-care, whatever that looks like for you, and do something you enjoy. Make sure you do some basic things like exercise, you’re eating well and you're sleeping well. That's a really good foundation to deal with a toxic work environment."

Taking care of yourself during the holidays, steps you can take

Photo: Hansuan Fabregas/Pixabay

StatePoint Media - With seasonal stressors like end-of-year work deadlines, gift shopping and hosting potentially weighing on you, plus all those extra sweets and indulgent foods to nibble on, the holiday season may be the happiest time of year, but it’s not always the healthiest. Here’s how to take better care of yourself to feel your best this holiday season.

Protect Your Skin
You may be aware that the more free radicals you have in your body, the more skin damage can accumulate over time. But did you know that exposure can be particularly high during the holiday season? There are a few reasons for this. One is that cooler temperatures are linked to sugar cravings, making sweet treats especially hard to resist at a time of year when there are so many to choose from. Increased sugar intake can boost the production of advanced glycation end products, and ultimately unwanted free radicals. In general, diets high in fat, sugar, and processed foods can contribute to free radical production, as can stress.

Fortunately, you can take steps to protect your skin from the inside out during the holidays and beyond. Fernblock PLE (Polypodium leucotomos extract), the natural antioxidant in the dietary supplement Heliocare Daily Use Antioxidant Formula, can help neutralize free radicals and the damage they cause. Dermatologist-recommended, Heliocare aids in eliminating free radicals to help maintain younger-looking, more resilient skin.

“Along with the cheer of the season comes skin hazards,” says New York-based dermatologist, Rachel Nazarian, MD. “But the holiday season is the perfect time to gift your skin additional protection from the damaging effects of free radicals. You can do this by incorporating a supplement like Heliocare into your routine in addition to using a topical broad spectrum sunscreen.”

To learn more, visit heliocare.com. (These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Heliocare is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.)

Move Daily
Be sure to take time for yourself each day to receive the combined physical and mental health benefits of movement. Head outdoors for a morning or afternoon walk to get some fresh air, improved blood circulation and some mood-boosting sunlight during the short, dark days of winter. To promote agility, flexibility and relaxation, take a few minutes to unwind with some meditation or gentle yoga.

Practice Healthy Habits
Holiday office parties and family gatherings often involve indulging in the kinds of food and drink that can leave you feeling more dehydrated, bloated and fatigued than you might normally. Counteract these effects by adopting healthy habits now that you can carry into the new year. Drink plenty of water each day, and incorporate decaffeinated green tea, coconut water or smoothies into your routine for added electrolytes. Likewise, get high-quality sleep each night. It’s especially important to do so if you’re burning the candle at both ends. For better shut-eye, avoid caffeine and blue light exposure before bedtime, and keep your bedroom temperature comfortable and consistent.

While it can be hard to set aside time in your schedule when there’s so much to do, a bit of daily self-care is sure to have a restorative effect that helps you refresh, reset and be more focused.