Illini cross country squad takes second at Bradley meet
World in chaos, talking to your child about the violence and terrible events as they unfold
Photo: Hosny Salah/Pixabay
by Shelli Dankoff
OSF Healthcare
OSF Healthcare
The ongoing conflict in the Middle East has left lives shattered with tragic images everywhere, and kids are watching.
News that could be confusing at best – or scary at worst – is circulating on-air and online, and many parents are left to wonder how to talk to their children about unsettling current events.
“The conversation really should be about the child. Give them permission to express their feelings. Make sure that they understand it’s important for them to be expressing their opinions, their viewpoints, their feelings. We want to make sure that they are hearing from us as the parent that we care about what they think. We care about what they are feeling,” explains Kyle Boerke, PsyD, an OSF HealthCare clinical child psychologist.
As information comes in, children may misinterpret what they hear, and might be frightened by something they don’t understand. Dr. Boerke says the first step parents should take is to simply ask kids what they know, and then talk about it truthfully, in a way that is appropriate for the age and developmental level of their child.
“We want them to know the information that I am giving to them is something that they can trust that is accurate. So if they are hearing me fiddle with the truth one way or another and they have a teacher at school that is having a conversations with them, that is going to put kind of a doubt in their head. So it is important to be open and honest with them at that age appropriate level. That way they know that they can trust you as a parent and your discretion,” he says.
And while the topic of the day might be divisive, parents can use the current environment as a teaching opportunity. Dr. Boerke reminds us that our kids are watching our reactions to current events and how we treat those with differing opinions or outlooks.
“We have the ability to model how we agree with or how we disagree with something in an appropriate way, and especially in a time like this when the country is so divided, that is a really important thing for us to model – appropriate ways to disagree or have different opinions from other people,” urges Dr. Boerke.
And Dr. Boerke says one of the most important things a parent can do is to reassure kids that they are safe.
During unsettling times, sometimes kids can have trouble coping. Dr. Boerke says signs of that include changes in behavior like nightmares, a child not sleeping, new fears, a lack of concentration or unusual moods.
If a parent notices these changes are ongoing, and talking with the child doesn’t seem to alleviate the fear, Dr. Boerke suggests speaking to your child’s pediatrician to get a referral to a behavioral health provider.
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The power of listening when helping those with a terminal illness
by Tim DitmanOSF Healthcare
“I was in my early forties with a lot of life before me when a moment came that stopped me on a dime.”
Country music star Tim McGraw’s “Live Like You Were Dying” tries to sum up the emotions of a terminal illness.
Rita Manning
Pastoral Care & Bereavement Coordinator
Pastoral Care & Bereavement Coordinator
Photo provided
It’s not just Hollywood. Rita Manning counsels patients and their loved ones as a pastoral care professional and bereavement coordinator for OSF HealthCare. She says there are ways to make the person’s final days more peaceful.
Getting the diagnosis
Before the “what’s next?” phase sets in, Manning says gut reactions to a terminal illness diagnosis can vary widely. Some have been in declining health, and they may show less of an emotional response. Others learn the news unexpectedly and abruptly.
“Those that are broadsided probably have more of an impact of mental and emotional things,” Manning says.
People might talk about being afraid of death or ask lots of questions. Some may want to go “full speed ahead,” as Manning puts it, and do things while they can. They may travel or catch up with old friends. Others may retreat and want to contemplate the future alone. Depression and other mental health issues can follow.
Helping out
Here’s a phrase to try when starting the conversation with a loved one:
“You may not want to talk about this now. Just know that whenever you are ready, I’m ready to listen and be there,” Manning says, putting herself in the shoes of a caregiver.
In other words, try to meet the person where they are. Don’t try to fix something that can’t be fixed. Acknowledge that the news is tough. Sit and cry with your loved one if that’s the emotion they show. Or if you don’t wear your emotions on your sleeve, offer help in other ways. Offer to mow the yard or take care of groceries.
Manning advises to avoid cliché phrases like “How are you doing?” Instead, try “How’s your day treating you?”
Another poor phrase: “You’re going to a better place.”
“Those types of phrases might be factual for them in their faith journey. It still may not be the time they want to hear that,” Manning says.
End of life discussions
It’s not uncommon for an adult with a terminal illness to put off talking about their funeral, estate and other matters once they have passed away. But there comes a time when there’s little time left to get things in order. Approach it delicately, Manning suggests.
“We just want to honor your wishes,” Manning says, again posing as a caregiver. “If you could help us understand what those are, that would help us to know how to move forward.”
Other phrases that may work: What is your greatest concern? What is your greatest hope? How can we make your final days full and comfortable?
Children and terminal illnesses
Consoling and supporting a child who will soon pass away requires a different approach, Manning says. You should still be honest, but they may not understand death. So, explain it in a way they understand.
First, reassure the child that the situation is not their fault.
Try something like: “Sometimes people just get sick. As hard as we try, we just can’t find that solution to make you well again.”
If they ask a question, an adult may need to ask one back to make sure they grasp what the child is thinking. For example: does the child’s stomach hurt because they are nervous or because of the illness? The response will shape what the adult says.
Relate to what children know, like a pet who died or even leaves falling off trees in the winter. But don’t be afraid to use words like “death” and “dying.” Using words like “lost” may cause confusion, Manning says. For example: a parent says, “We lost grandma today.” A child may respond, “Let’s go find her.”
Manning adds that there are books from trusted sources that talk about death.
“They’re still going to have questions,” Manning points out. “But it starts the hard task. Reading helps them engage and understand better.”
Learn more
Learn more about resources for people nearing the end of their life on the OSF HealthCare website.
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New Illinois law shifts repatriation and reburial power to tribal nations
by Logan Jaffe
In 1999 the Sac & Fox Tribe of the Mississippi in Iowa, the Sac and Fox Nation of Missouri in Kansas and Nebraska and the Sac and Fox Nation, Oklahoma, repatriated the remains of 34 of their ancestors held by the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.
ProPublica - America’s institutions maintain control of more than a hundred thousand remains of Native Americans as well as sacred items. A federal law, the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act, was meant to help return them, but decades after its 1990 passage, many tribes are still waiting.
Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker signed into law in August sweeping reforms that for the first time will give tribal nations — not state agencies, universities or museums — final say over how and when the remains of their ancestors and sacred items are returned to them.
“With the Governor signing these bills into law, Illinois is proving that a government is capable of reflecting on its past injustices and planning for a future that respects and celebrates our interconnectedness,” Prairie Band Potawatomi Nation Chairperson Joseph “Zeke” Rupnick said.
The newly signed Human Remains Protection Act was shaped by tribal nations over more than two years of consultations with the Illinois State Museum and the state Department of Natural Resources. The legislation unanimously passed the state House and Senate this spring and follows publication of ProPublica’s “The Repatriation Project,” an ongoing investigation into the delayed return of Native American ancestral remains by universities, museums and government agencies.
“Here in Illinois we believe in justice, and we won’t hide from the truth,” Pritzker said. “It’s up to us to right the wrongs of the past and to chart a new course.”
The law makes it the state’s responsibility to help return ancestral remains, funerary objects and other important cultural items to tribal nations, and it compels the state to follow the lead of tribal nations throughout the repatriation process. It also establishes a state Repatriation and Reinterment Fund to help with the costs of reburial, tribal consultation and the repair of any damage to burial sites, remains or sacred items.
Tribal nations have pointed to the lack of protected places for reburial in Illinois as among the highest barriers to repatriation.
Existing law to protect unmarked cemeteries in Illinois failed to create a pathway for tribal nations to rebury ancestral remains that had been disinterred. That law, passed in 1989, deemed most Native American remains to be property of the state.
The new law increases criminal penalties for the looting and desecration of gravesites, while adding a ban on profiteering from human remains and funerary objects through their sale, purchase or exhibition. Moreover, it mandates tribal nations be consulted as soon as possible when Indigenous gravesites are unintentionally disturbed or unearthed — such as during construction projects.
The measure follows decades of Indigenous activism, new leadership within the Illinois State Museum and IDNR, and ProPublica reporting that revealed widespread delays in institutions’ compliance with a 1990 federal repatriation law. ProPublica found that more than 30 years after passage of the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act, museums and other institutions nationwide still hold more than 100,000 Native American human remains.
The failure to repatriate expeditiously, as required by NAGPRA, is rife in Illinois, where more than 15,461 Native Americans have been excavated — more than from any other state, the ProPublica investigation found. The vast majority of those ancestors are still held by Illinois institutions. Previous policies at the Illinois State Museum, which holds the remains of at least 7,000 ancestors, favored the scientific study of remains over their return to tribes for reburial.
Sunshine Thomas-Bear, the cultural preservation director for the Winnebago Tribe of Nebraska, said, “It has been a rough road in trying to get the protection and rights that non-Natives have in protecting our ancestral burial sites and homelands.” She added that many Illinois gravesites have been desecrated and destroyed.
“This bill cannot remedy the damage that has been caused thus far, but perhaps it will protect the sites that remain in our homelands,” Thomas-Bear said, though she emphasized that the law is “a step in the right direction” for rebuilding relationships.
Significantly, the law empowers IDNR to set aside and maintain land solely for the reburial of repatriated Native American ancestors and their belongings. Tribal nations have pointed to the lack of protected places for reburial in Illinois as among the highest barriers to repatriation.
For example, in 1999 the Sac & Fox Tribe of the Mississippi in Iowa, the Sac and Fox Nation of Missouri in Kansas and Nebraska and the Sac and Fox Nation, Oklahoma, repatriated the remains of 34 of their ancestors held by the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, records show. The tribes wanted to rebury their ancestors at or near the site where they were originally interred: a former Sauk and Meskwaki village in Rock Island County along the Mississippi River. But the state wouldn’t allow the tribes to use the land, said Johnathan Buffalo, the tribal historic preservation director of the Sac & Fox Tribe of the Mississippi in Iowa. They had to rebury the ancestors in Iowa — west of the Mississippi River, the same borderline used by the U.S. government when it expelled all Native American tribes from the state during the 1830s.
“That old wound opened when Illinois did that to us,” Buffalo said.
More than 30 tribal nations are recognized by the state museum as having cultural and historic ties to Illinois. The consultations, which are ongoing, began with discussing the repatriation of more than 230 ancestors unearthed from what today is known as Dickson Mounds.
“The need to rebury and to think about a different way of being in relationship with land from the state side was reiterated to us from just about every tribal nation,” said Heather Miller, the director of tribal relations and historic preservation for the Illinois State Museum. Miller is also an enrolled citizen of the Wyandotte Nation.
The new law is part of a broader effort to recenter Native voices in Illinois and within state institutions, a commitment brought to the Illinois State Museum in part by its former director, Cinnamon Catlin-Legutko, before her death this year. It was signed in tandem with two other laws; one requires the history of Native Americans in the Midwest be taught in Illinois public schools and another that bans school boards from prohibiting students from wearing cultural or tribal clothing and regalia in schools and at graduation ceremonies.
Interim Director Jennifer Edginton said the museum and IDNR, which oversees the institution, have “been looking very inward” to address the previous absence of Indigenous worldviews in their programs, collections and exhibits.
“We don’t want to continue that erasure, or stereotypes, or things that the museum field in general, unfortunately, has done since the inception of museums,” Edginton said.
The Legacy of Forced Removal
Today, no federally recognized tribes reside in Illinois, though Chicago is home to one of the largest urban communities of Indigenous people in the country. The absence of an organized political presence and tribal government has in part led to the state having among the worst repatriation track records in the nation.
“Forced removal affects everything,” said Miller, referring to the expulsion of Native American tribes from Illinois throughout the 1800s. “There was the physical removal, but that also removed [tribal nations] from being able to have a say in law, to have a say in voting, and from participating in all the ways the state operates and functions.”
With passage of the new Illinois law, that balance of power will for the first time tip toward tribal nations whose ancestral lands became the state of Illinois.
That legacy has also contributed to Illinois museums designating many of the ancestral remains in their collections as “culturally unidentifiable” under the federal repatriation law. That designation has been misused by some institutions to avoid repatriating remains under NAGPRA, giving museums outsize power in consultations with tribal nations.
With passage of the new Illinois law, that balance of power will for the first time tip toward tribal nations whose ancestral lands became the state of Illinois.
“We have the ability to now bring those communities that were forcibly removed in violent ways back here,” Miller said. “Rather than being a ‘removal state,’ Illinois could be known as a ‘new relations’ state instead.”
The Future of Funerary Items
Another significant aspect of the new law is that it prohibits institutions from charging admission to view human remains that are Native American and any items that were originally buried with those individuals. Although the public display of Native American ancestral remains by museums fell out of practice after the passage of NAGPRA in the early 1990s, the public display of their funerary items has not.
After Dickson Mounds Museum in the early 1990s closed a burial exhibit that displayed the remains of more than 230 Native Americans, the institution still maintained a permanent exhibit that featured items taken from Indigenous gravesites across the state. As ProPublica reported this year, in September 2021, curators dismantled much of the exhibit at the request of tribal partners, who wished to see the items reunited with the ancestors they were buried with before their repatriation. Those funerary items made up about 40% of the exhibit.
State museum officials told ProPublica they’re not sure how many museums in Illinois still display funerary items. The law applies to every museum, university and historical society in the state — far more than the 15 institutions in Illinois that have reported their Native American holdings under the NAGPRA.
When asked about what he would say to museums that may push back against the law, Illinois State Rep. Mark L. Walker said: “Too bad.”
Walker, a Democrat who represents part of Chicago’s northwest suburbs, sponsored the legislation. He said he’s already received interest from other states looking to adopt similar laws.
“I think we can be a model for other states,” Walker said. “Whether we can change [Illinois’] image to such an extent that these communities actually trust us? I don’t know. That may take 30 years.”
ProPublica is a Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative newsroom. Sign up for The Big Story newsletter to receive stories like this one in your inbox.
Schlittler leads Rockets in home win over Indians
Unity's Jillian Schlittler does a back set while teammate Meagan Rothe moves into position to attempt a kill in the Rockets' road match at St. Joseph-Ogden. Tonight, Schlittler, a sophomore, led UHS' offensive effort for a conference win over visiting Pontiac, 2-0.
Photo: PhotoNews/Clark Brooks
TOLONO - Bouncing back from a two-match slide, the Unity volleyball team defeated Pontiac at the Rocket Center on Thursday, 2-0. Sophomore Jillian Schlittler tallied a team-high eight kills and recorded two blocks to help Unity (14-16-1) move one step closer to a .500 season. Chloey Duitsman and Lauren Shaw collected seven digs apiece. Duitsman also served up a couple of aces, while Shaw dispersed 13 assists. Unity took the first set 25-21 and dominated the floor in their second set effort with a decisive 25-14 victory. The Rockets will face three opponents in the final week of the regular season, starting with the Urbana Tigers (3-11) on Monday. Twenty-four hours later, Duitsman, Schlittler & Shaw will have home-court advantage again, hosting Rantoul Township (13-19, 2-5) in their squad's last conference match of the season. Unity's regular-season finale will be played on the road in a non-conference at Olympia (13-16) on Thursday.
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