Guest Commentary |Cutting ties with a friend or relative is difficult

by Glenn Mollette, Guest Commentator

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We live in an age of addiction and dysfunctional personalities. Lives and families are shattered every day by drug addiction, gambling addictions, pornography, alcoholism and more. Some people have anger issues and live daily lashing out at people and loved ones. Many people have serious mental health issues and need help and often refuse to get help. All of these issues and many more can be impactful on friendships and relationships. It takes a lot of patience and work to survive such a relationship.

Sometimes we hang in there because we feel it’s the noble thing to do. We try to stick with our kids and be there when they need us. We try to hang tight with our parents in their golden years just in case they need us. We stick with a spouse or significant other out of love or a commitment to see life through to the end.

Most of the time we don’t give in unless someone becomes very bad, mean, evil, or is totally wrecking our lives. When this happens then we have to make a decision. How do we stay in relationship with this person? The individual could be a friend, spouse, significant other or a relative. Most people try for a long time but there comes a point if someone is totally wrecking your life then you have to have a serious discussion with the person. If this doesn’t work then you have to go a different direction. You have to make a new plan Stan, as Paul Simon said in a song.

As a Christian, I know God doesn’t give up on us and we don’t give up on people.

Often making a decision to cut ties with a friend or relative is difficult and painful, but there comes a time when mental sanity requires that you make the difficult decision. Once you have made it then there is usually a feeling of relief. Some guilt may follow but not likely if you tried to be a good and fair person and extend as much grace as possible.

No one goes into marriage thinking about divorce but on occasion the battle to make it work is like saving the Titanic from sinking. It’s not going to happen.

This happens with friends, children, and even parents. I agree, “Nothing is Impossible with God.” Keep in mind that you aren’t God and while you may be committed to him in faith, it takes two people to make a relationship work.

it's true that winners never quit and quitters never win but winners don’ beat their heads on a fence post either. Try hard. Work hard. Forgive multiple times. Extend grace. Pray. Look to the Bible for guidance. Get counsel. Have long talks. Cry. Try begging. If your life is still swirling downward because of the negativity involving “whoever” the other person is then, “hop on the bus Gus, and drop off the key Lee,” as Simon also said.

As a Christian, I know God doesn’t give up on us and we don’t give up on people. This doesn’t mean we have to be in union with them or continue to be abased personally by their actions.

Live in peace, joy and harmony with all people, as much as possible and all times, if possible, Just realize that maybe pushing a rope is not easy. Changing the course of the Mississippi River might be easier and some people you simply have to release to God and walk away.

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He is the author of 13 books including Uncommom Sense, the Spiritual Chocolate series, Grandpa's Store, Minister's Guidebook insights from a fellow minister. His column is published weekly in over 600 publications in all 50 states. The views expressed are those of the author and are not necessarily representative of any other group or organization. We welcome comments and views from our readers. Submit your letters to the editor or commentary on a current event 24/7 to editor@oursentinel.com.

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Letter to the Editor: Jesus would have been a socialist

Dear Editor,

The Republican party boasts it holds the market on Christianity. It should own up and embrace - “What would Jesus do?” On almost any political issue whether its immigration, gun violence, crime, or social issues, including care for the – destitute, homeless, sick, mentally ill or climate change…etc., republicans hate the question and pivot to “What about abortion?”

Noteworthy, there is no mention of abortion in the Bible, but love for and how we should treat our neighbors, including immigrants and needy is mentioned many times throughout. I don’t know of anybody “for” abortion. Yet, republicans demonize pro-choicers that believe what a woman does with her body, reproductive organs or abortion a personal decision between her and God as “baby killers.” Pro-choicers support counseling and adoption as alternatives and more accessible.

When asked, “What would Jesus do at our border?” conservatives counter with extreme responses like “Would you let them into your home?” That’s literally a “devil’s advocate” response, but Jesus would.

With respect to the immigration problem and the needy, there is no better parable than Mathew 25: 35-40 - “For I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; …”

Republicans fear compassion and letting immigrants into our country will make it weaker and is naïve. There’s no evidence, but that’s where Christian faith comes in. Throughout the Bible God rewarded kingdoms and individuals that practiced his teachings, guidance and instructions with faith and punished those that didn’t.

Had the word socialist existed during Jesus’s ministry, Pharisees no doubt would have called him and followers socialists for administering and advocating for the out-casted, oppressed and needy.

According to Gallup 47% of Americans attend church. In the last two decades I’ve witnessed a large drop in attendance. I can’t help contribute people being less accountable for their actions and how they treat people, especially immigrants, to the decline.

My church service opens: “Here we love God, love our neighbor…” In respect to the problem at our border, “love our neighbor” as Jesus taught should resonate within the heart and souls of all Christians. Churches conduct ministries overseas, but where’s their presence at the border? How can we turn our back on those trying to survive, escape violence and persecution, when our country is the wealthiest in the world?

Because of all the Internet hate filled chatter, threats of violence, dog whistling, the coup attempt on January 6th seemed possible. When Obama was elected, moderate republican think tanks stated that to win an election their party had to garnish the vote of people of color. After Obama was re-elected republicans consisting of a growing number of white supremacists and violent militia recognized that their party couldn’t win fairly and were willing to win at any cost even if it meant storming the capitol, stopping the electoral vote count and overturning the election. Bullied by extremists, moderate republicans have cowardly stood back and allowed the hijack of their party and assault on our democracy.

Republicans fear whites becoming the minority, as trend indicates, and immigrants gaining citizenship and right to vote will reduce chances of winning elections. By demonizing and stereotyping immigrants as gang members, drug traffickers, rapists, stoking fear and greed saying they are going to take jobs and material resources, believe they can stop or delay the inevitable.

The federal government administers over 80 programs that address specific needs of the poor, destitute, homeless, sick, physically and mentally disabled, under un-and-under educated and disadvantaged. In the past decade practically all of these programs and bills below passed by democrats were opposed by republicans along partisan lines.

The Covid pandemic reaped havoc in hundreds of millions of deaths and on the world economy, resulting in worldwide inflation. In response congress passed: American Rescue Plan providing economic relief and saving millions from eviction; and Inflation Reduction Act that makes urgent investments to lower - prescription drug, health care, and energy costs, takes most aggressive action to confront the climate crisis and shifts the tax burden from lower and middle income to the super wealthy. By executive order the President made hearing aids available over the counter and much more affordable.

Nowhere greater is the opportunity to show compassion than in this election. Which candidate and platform best mirrors in answer to “What would Jesus do?” I invite and encourage you to attend church, pray for our country and right decision as to how you vote.

Bill Young
Pensacola, Florida

Guest Commentary: Give the gift of mercy and forgiveness this Christmas

by Glenn Mollette, Guest Commentator

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This Christmas give somebody the gift of mercy and forgiveness. Be broad with your giving and generous. We all need a lot of both. For such a joyful holiday of cheer, giving and yuletide merriment there is much to be stressed about.

Typically, people have been stressed about all the holiday parties, gatherings and Christmas scheduling. This year there is more stress related to sickness, masks, vaccinations, Omicron, natural disasters, filled hospitals, massive numbers of funerals and inflation. The last couple of Christmases have not been life as usual for most of us.

You may have watched Chevy Chase in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. He becomes over the top stressed out when his Christmas lights won’t work and he literally kicks, stomps and curses a blue streak across his yard. It's a funny scene. Mostly because in some way we've all been there a time or two.

Most of us enjoy giving if we can. We enjoy giving to the people we love. Christmas trees, decorating, eating and gatherings are all a part of the season. However, we become frustrated when we lose sight of the big picture. The big picture includes looking around and beyond our Christmas pain.

Millions of people would simply be thrilled to have the problems that some of us have. Many people are in the nursing home and will never go to the mall again. Some have a terminal disease and this may be their last Christmas. Depression will weigh heavy on many who have lost their homes, buried loved ones or experienced financial devastation from medical care or natural disasters. Most of these people would love to have a house to decorate or gifts to buy for a loved one.

Celebrate Christmas this year. Give away some special gifts. Give gifts that money can't buy or time cannot fade. Give love, give forgiveness and give some mercy. Extend these generously to yourself. If you can't give them to yourself it's impossible to give them to others.

The little baby that Christmas celebrates became a man and taught people that we should love God and love others as we love ourselves. Herein is part of the rub. Too often people stop loving themselves. Life becomes imperfect, we fail, get hurt or mad and we kick Santa or the reindeer across the yard. Unfortunately, we don’t stop there. We go into Ebenezer Scrooge bah humbug mode. We don't get our groove back and miss out on some of Christmas' most wonderful characteristics- mercy and forgiveness.

The Christmas story is about a child who came to show us the way. He showed us how to love, forgive and be merciful. Some of the people in your life probably need it more than you know. Give generously and start with yourself.

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Dr. Glenn Mollette is a syndicated American columnist and author of American Issues, Every American Has An Opinion and ten other books. He is read in all 50 states. The views expressed are those of the author and are not necessarily representative of any other group or organization.

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This article is the sole opinions of the author and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Sentinel. We welcome comments and views from our readers. Submit your letters to the editor or commentary on a current event 24/7 to editor@oursentinel.com.

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SJO grad and spiritual runner Jolee Paden, appointed director of operations post

Jolee Paden, who graduated from St. Joseph-Ogden High School in 2012, recently accepted a new role that will take her to the other side of the planet. Her new title and role as Director of Operations for Southeast Asia FCA will take her to Malaysia in a leadership role that offers an extraordinary opportunity to experience other cultures and promote the Christian organization's mission of leading "every coach and athlete into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ and His church."

She wrote on Facebook:

This wasn't in my "plan," but what good thing ever is? It is hard to imagine leaving my DC fam for now, but it is clear to me that God is moving me into this new opportunity. I would love to share more with you if you want to hear it!

Of course, we had to spill the beans on this SJO grad's amazing journey.

In Malaysia, she will be working with the Vice President of the Southeast Asia to pioneer and strategize for sports ministry across the 11 countries of this region for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes.

"Much of my role will include recruiting, hiring, training and mobilizing staff in their countries," she said via an email interview. Her territory covers Brunei, Cambodia, East Timor, Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia, Myanmar, Singapore, Thailand and Vietnam. "I will be doing a lot of traveling across Southeast Asia and frequently coming back to the States. In many ways, I will create a bridge between these two places."

While at SJO, Paden ran both cross country and track for the Spartan program. Her best time in the two-mile distance was 12:02 and she cruised the three-mile course to a career best 18:49.

She said the lessons along with her relationship with her teachers and coaches in high school help paved the way for her to enjoy an exciting career. Many of her teachers were special but one stood out in the conversation.

"The feedback from Ms. (Susan) Pensinger in my English and Journalism classes challenged and encouraged me," Paden said, who later wrote and published her first book while a sophomore at Eastern Mennonite University in Harrisonburg, Virginia. "We still keep in touch today with letters here and there."

Then, there was running Coach John McDannald.

"(He) invested in me as first a person before the athlete," she said. "In FCA, we train on 3-Dimensional Coaching. Coach McD was training me to be a 3D Coach before I even knew what that meant.

He used running as a tool for learning about our ourselves and life."

After volunteering at the Champaign-Urbana FCA Power Camp over the summer, she helped launched FCA at SJO her junior year.

Paden is glad she grew up in the tight-knit community of runners and friends in St. Joseph. "I'm grateful to have grown up there and continue to have those roots to always go back to in places and people," she says. "My community in SJO continues to be a vibrant source of support for me -- relationally, prayerfully and financially."

Jolee Paden runs the course at the 2011 Cow Chip Classic. Helping the Spartan girls win this year's team title, the senior distance specialist ran the three-mile course in 20:04 finishing in second place in the Number 2 runner race. (Photo: PhotoNews Media/Clark Brooks)

Sometime later this year near the later part of 2020, Paden, who graduated from college back in 2016 with a dual degree in Business Administration and Recreation Leadership and Sport Promotion, will move to her new home in Malaysia. With a population close to 30 million, the country is multi-ethnic and multi-cultural. Fifty percent of the population are Malay, with a large number of Chinese, Indians, and indigenous peoples, who are the minorities. Islam is the country's established religion, but the constitution there does grant the freedom of religion to non-Muslims.

"I will be working with the Vice President of the Southeast Asia to pioneer and strategize for sports ministry across the 11 countries of this region," Paden said. "Much of my role will include recruiting, hiring, training and mobilizing staff in their countries. I will be doing a lot of traveling across Southeast Asia and frequently coming back to the States. In many ways, I will create a bridge between these two places."

To hit the ground running, Paden said she has regular ZOOM meetings with her new team in Southeast Asia. She is looking forward to meeting everyone in person.

"I am both nervous and excited to be in a completely new environment and culture," she said. "You learn new things about yourself in new places, and I believe this will be no different. Also, I have heard the food is amazing."

She her tenure with FCA at George Washington University in January of 2018. Almost 20 months later she transitioned into the Collegiate Director role where she was responsible for building and maintaining relationships across the eight universities in the Washington, DC, area.

"During my time, we launched a new FCA student ministry at GW. The students now meet weekly in a large group and small group Bible studies based on sports team. I volunteered as an Assistant Coach with GW cross country and track team," she said. "Before the season ended this last spring semester, I took on a Character Coach role for the Howard University softball team."

Jolee Paden runs to a 14th place finish at the 2011 Spartan Classic. Paden crossed the finish line at 11:48.0. Host St Joseph-Ogden finished third in the overall team standings with 164 points. Photo: PhotoNews Media/Clark Brooks

With her promotion and shifting focus on her new roll in an office over 9,200 miles from St. Joseph, a new George Washington FCA staff representative has taken over her responsibilities and now oversees the George Washington chapter working with a group of helpful local volunteers.

After high school, Paden's running career blossomed. As a collegiate runner Paden competed in both cross country and track & field. She earned All-ODAC Second Team recognition in three consecutive cross country seasons from 2013 to 2015. She was also named to the USTFCCCA All-Academic Cross Country Team in 2014 and was honored as Royals Athlete of the Week that year.

It was during that time she penned her first book, Spiritual Runner: A Runner After God's Own Heart and self-published it in July 2014. She even created a website to promote the book.

"I just finished my sophomore year of college," she stated. She explained how the idea started much earlier while she was in high school. "But, I did most of my writing during my spring 2014 semester abroad in the Middle East.

Rather than going through an extensive publishing process, I decided to self-publish. It was more about the words being written than any publicity or attention it would get."