Photo: Nathan Dumlao/Unsplash
(SNS)- Dating has never been easy. It is hard because it involves navigating a complex mix of emotions, expectations, and external pressures. From high standards and fear of rejection to miscommunication and cultural influences, the challenges vary from person to person and relationship to relations. Add into the mix social isolation created by technology, pandemic lockdowns and potential partners’ unrealistic expectations from movies and TV shows that show failling in love as effortless and magical, setting unrealistic expectations for real-life relationships. Yeah, finding the love your life is hard. Pop culture critiques tend to regard today's dating ritual as "broken". Two studies performed a decade apart found that college students' ideas about romantic relationships have largely remained unchanged over time, according to study leader Brian Ogolsky, a professor of human development and family studies at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.
Photo: Unsplash/Anthony Tran
Commitment or Bust, is the point where a couple agrees to a long-term commitment
Flirtationship is the initial stage where attraction begins, often through flirting and shared interests, either online or in person. The next step is Testing Relationship Potential, where the couple spends more time together, engages in deep conversations, and determines if they want to pursue a serious relationship, with friendship playing a key role. When a couple reaches the third stage, their romantic needs have been met and their status as a couple is made official. The "In a Relationship" level usually denotes that mutual boundaries have been defined, such as a commitment to exclusivity and supporting each other emotionally, financially, and in their individual careers. At this point, couples are introducing their partner into their social circles and family. “Young adults clearly distinguish dating from being in a relationship,” Ogolsky told the Illinois News Bureau. “In our study, we used the term ‘relationship development’ to describe the activities we were investigating, but it became clear that participants did not view early behaviors as part of being in a relationship per se. Instead, they viewed flirting and even dating as part of a broader pattern of interpersonal interaction that may or may not eventually lead to the formation of a relationship.” Depending on external pressure from family, friends, or their cultural background, the final stage, Commitment or Bust, is the point where a couple agrees to a long-term commitment, either living together or getting married. Or, in the worst case for one or both partners, they may choose to move on in search of their happily ever after with someone else. Ogolsky speculated that during the ten year period, the rapid growth in social media and dating apps would greatly affect how today's students approached dating. "When we ask people about relationship prototypes, they’re not talking about technology," he explained. "They’re thinking about relationships in broad strokes. And we found it interesting that the centerpiece of relationships was not dating apps, artificial intelligence or robots or all the other things we may have predicted 25 or 40 years ago."
Traditional relationship milestones like engagement and marriage are no longer seen as necessary next steps these days.
Today, more young adults value the freedom and flexibility of being single, enjoying the ability to make decisions without considering a spouse or partner. Many prioritize bucket lists - travel, personal development, and reaching career goals - before settling into a lifelong commitment. Observing failed marriages among friends or family members, especially a messy one or two, is powerful deterant. According to the Centers for Disease Prevention and Control (CDC), the current divorce rate nationwide is around 42%. The average first marriage lasts about eight years. Financial instability due to changing career changes, debt, inflation, and student loans payback often delay couples entering into marriage. The cost of a modest wedding for two hundred guests is eye-opening. Traditional relationship milestones like engagement and marriage are no longer seen as necessary next steps these days. Couples are choosing alternative paths such as cohabitation or long-term partnerships without marriage. While the steps to long-term commitmment may have not deviated that much in the past decade, navigating to that point certainly has.
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"The manikins are very much like the human body, so the students get a really good, hands-on experience with how CPR works,” Meeks says. "They also learn how to use the AED. Most students know where it is in their school, but they’ve never seen it before. They have no idea how it works."
You can count Paige Ferguson and Kira Becker, both juniors at Fisher High School, among the adolescents who think the training is valuable.
"You just had to stay at a consistent pace, which was difficult [to start]. But once you got that pace going, it was pretty easy to stay with it," Ferguson says, describing the training.
"It’s important to know this so you can help friends and teachers in your daily life. You can help save a person’s life,” Becker says.
One of those teachers is Doug Ingold, the health and physical education instructor who asked OSF to train the whole student body.
"It’s great to have hands-on experience. It’s different than just watching a video,” Ingold says. "Having OSF come in and give the students actual practical experience really gives them a good idea of what it takes to do CPR."
Throughout the years, many of us watched Barbara Walters from NBC to ABC. I always tried to watch her special interviews. Often, the people she interviewed on primetime television specials were “the” high profile people at that given time. She became the highest paid journalist of her day being the first to sign a million-dollar contract with ABC.
Regardless of what we do in life we are still confronted by difficulties that often debilitate us. Walters had survived her own personal struggles, like we all do, including four divorces. Unfortunately, her reported battle with dementia took its toll on her health. We can all accomplish much in life. Maybe not as much as Walters or maybe even more. Regardless, there is much about life we can’t do anything about other than try to deal with it and do the best we can.
At least 37 people died from the recent winter storm in Buffalo, New York. Families are grieving. Hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, freezing temperatures, and snow have wreaked devastation on our country in the last twelve months. Loss of life can come from disease, weather, accidents or unconscionably by design.
We all have been horrified by the death of four college students in Moscow, Idaho. It’s been beyond us how four beautiful people could be stabbed to death in their beds reportedly between 3:00 and 4:00 in the morning. A young man who is a student at nearby Washington State University on the Pullman campus has been arrested at his parents’ house in Albrightsville, Pennsylvania. Moscow police believe they now have the murderer in custody.
How anyone could commit such a heinous crime is beyond our comprehension. I’m sure it was beyond the scope of thought for these innocent young adults. We never know who is taking note of our lives, whereabouts and activities. Regardless of how calm and safe your community seems you can’t take anything for granted. Lock your doors. Lock your bedroom door. Keep your handgun on your lampstand and try your best to create an environment that protects you as much as possible. With so many people sleeping in the rental house in Moscow, I’m sure these young college students felt safe. What appeared to be safe for them became an opportunity for an evil mind.
Typically, the attacker has the element of surprise on his side. It’s always best to try to think ahead. Sadly, four Idaho University students were killed by someone who planned, plotted, and was patient enough to find the right moment to carry out the murders.
Accepting and dealing with what we cannot change is one thing. Preparing for life but rolling with the punches, the turns, and twists, is another. Being watchful, careful, and never taking anything for granted could make the difference between life and death
Pray for these families and all the many friends and loved ones as they grieve and suffer from such devastating loss.
