Rough-and-tumble play, offers numerous benefits for children's development, including physical, emotional, and social skills. It helps them explore strength, manage emotions, build confidence, and develop crucial problem-solving skills.
by Colleen Reynolds OSF Healthcare
PEORIA - First-time moms can be a little leery of dad wrestling with a little one, but research shows rough housing, or better put, active play actually helps with physical development, social skills and emotional regulation.
Kyle Boerke, PsyD, a clinical child psychologist and the director of Outpatient Behavioral Health services at OSF HealthCare, says it might be surprising but aggressive physical play between parents and their children results in less aggressive kids.
Kyle Boerke
“During physical play, fathers especially who exert some levels of dominance actually have more well-adjusted kiddos; more socially adjusted and more confident kiddos whereas with more passive fathers, we actually get children who engage in more physical aggression. So, it’s kind of opposite of what some people who are hesitant might think.”
Active play also helps children learn to regulate their emotions Dr. Boerke says.
“I might be starting to get frustrated but I’m learning how to deal with that frustration. I’m learning how to be assertive and say, ‘I would like to stop or please stop.’ And if it’s high-quality interaction the parent is going to stop and now I’m learning that if I advocate for myself, then things are going to turn out the right way.”
What does active play look like? It can be playing tag, wrestling, flying a kid like an airplane on your raised legs and feet, even spinning a child around. During a walk, it could be mom and dad swinging them with each holding a hand.
Dr. Boerke says rough-and-tumble play has so many benefits. For example, he says it provides opportunities for children to learn about social cues and helps build confidence as they test their limits. It positively impacts the brain, improving cognition, attention and academic achievement.
For parents it has positive side effects because the interactions activate pleasure hormones.
There is no age limit for rough-and-tumble play.
“One of the most fascinating parts of research on this rough-and-tumble play is we actually get equal, if not higher, levels of this hormone oxytocin at the end of a rough- and-tumble play session than we do when we simply sit on the couch and cuddle with our kiddos. So it actually strengthens the bond with my child.”
Active play also promotes development of gross motor skills, balance, coordination and spatial awareness. But parents need to make sure it doesn’t cause harm or that the parent always has dominance. Dr. Boerke suggests letting the child win as much as you do and setting limits when it goes on too long.
He emphasizes that when it comes to tickling, don’t hold a child down and make sure to stop when a child says they’ve had enough or seem worn out by it.
There is no age limit for rough-and-tumble play. Dr. Boerke explains the type of active play just morphs a bit as a child ages.
“What was wrestling or chase and flee, what was tickling and throwing them in the air when they were little turned into, we're going to play a one-on-one game of basketball, you know, at a park. Or if I have a hoop at my house, there's rough-and-tumble play in that too, right?”
For more introverted parents, Dr. Boerke suggests easing into active play and it will eventually come naturally. Enthusiasm is important. He stresses that a child needs to feel a parent is really engaged and interested, not just going through the motions. He says if parents are too passive about play, their children tend to be more aggressive in the long run.
Pay close attention to nonverbal cues when a patient appears agitated. Keep family gatherings small. Large groups can produce fear and confusion in those suffering from Alzheimer's Disease.
CHICAGO - The excitement of the holiday season is celebrated with family get-togethers. But for Alzheimer's patients, large groups can produce fear and confusion. The disease causes brain cell deterioration and the ability to rapidly process information diminishes daily.
Macie P. Smith, a licensed social worker and gerontologist, advised paying attention to nonverbal cues when a patient appears agitated.
"If you're going to have a small, intimate gathering, I also recommend doing name tags," Smith suggested. "Go ahead and put the person's name and the relationship to the person on the shirt, so that way they won't have to guess and wonder and try to figure out who this person is. It just helps with the ease of engagement."
Reminiscing over the family photo album is a traditional holiday favorite. Despite the best intentions, Smith explained, asking an Alzheimer's patient to identify a relative can be frustrating. The questions cause them to use brain cells that are severely impacted and could produce combativeness and aggression. She recommended singing or playing music as better choices.
The Alzheimer's Association Illinois chapter reported 311,000 caregivers cook meals, assist with basic hygiene and monitor medication intake. The needs of patients are unpredictable, leaving them with sporadic break times.
Additional stress from gift shopping and work obligations underlines the importance for a caregiver to routinely nurture their physical and mental well-being. Smith advised using a calendar for scheduling enjoyable activities.
"I've asked caregivers, 'So, what do you like to do?' They don't know, or they don't remember, because they have been so engulfed with caring for someone else and depleting everything that they've had, they've lost a sense of self," Smith observed.
For unmanageable situations, Smith recommends contacting a professional respite care service through your local department on aging. The agencies offer vouchers to pay a certified person to sit with your loved one. Another choice is asking for help from a church member, trusted neighbor or a Medicare or Medicaid-funded adult day service.
The holidays are fast approaching. Families across the country will soon gather to break bread, exchange gifts and partake in each other’s company.
Photo provided
Therasa Yehling Strive Trauma Recovery Center Manager
But the holiday season can also be a time that heightens unwanted stress.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), nearly 90% of people feel some stress during the holiday seasons for several reasons – finances, the death of a loved one and potential family conflict. This year could be especially tough given the tension surrounding the recent presidential election. APA research found the election was a major stress point for 69% of people who responded, which was up from 52% in 2016.
“I think that people are usually stressed about being perfect, trying to do everything,” says Therasa Yehling, manager for the OSF Strive Trauma Recovery Center in Rockford, Illinois, and a licensed social worker. “It could be about money. Are they going to buy everything for everyone? And if you already have issues of mental illness, or having issues with money, it just adds another layer of stress. I think it's hard to deal with around that time.”
Photo:KrakenImages on Unsplash
Before coming together this year, Yehling says families should have a plan. Communicate before that get-together and talk about how it might be best to stay away from certain topics. Instead, Yehling says, reinforce the love you have for one another and show compassion and concern for those family members and friends who are gathered around the table that day. It sure beats debating politics with your cantankerous uncle over a slice of pumpkin pie.
“Let's talk about fun things,” says Yehling. “Let's talk about how your kids are doing, how your parents are doing. Really talking about things that bring people together. I think that's important to concentrate on.”
If your family has engaged in heated discussions during past holidays, reevaluate your plan. Maybe this year you decide to only spend a couple of hours at your gathering, instead of all day. And if you know that tensions will be high regardless, Yehling says it’s OK to let your feelings known and to work with family members to make other arrangements this year.
“It's not fair to put people at a place that you know they can't rise to,” she says. “I need to accept that. I can't change them, but I certainly can change me. I can change how I react. And you don’t have to go. Go later. We can eat turkey any other time. We can do things differently.”
Surround yourself with people who love and support you.
Many people will be grieving this holiday season. It could be the loss of a loved one or pet, a job, health issues or even the outcome of the election. “When it comes to losing your husband or somebody you know, give them grace, give them that space,” Yehling says. “Let them have a tear or two, and they'll be alright. Let them be.”
And limit your time on social media. Yehling says the best way to avoid overreacting to information you read is to think carefully about responding to posts that cause you angst. Turn off your notifications and reduce the amount of time you spend scrolling through Facebook or X, for example.
Yehling offers other tips to help people get through the upcoming holidays. Don’t over schedule yourself, limit your travel, keep a regular routine, including healthy eating and exercise. Other reminders are managing gift giving, don’t overindulge when it comes to food and alcohol and take time for yourself. Remember to take a needed break from the holiday madness by reading a book, listening to your favorite music, going for a long walk or just curling up for an afternoon nap.
Most importantly, surround yourself with people who love and support you.
“It’s about who is around you and how you interact,” Yehling adds. “What do you want to do? How do you want this to go? Oh, I want to have fun. Then have fun. Put that effort, put that focus into it.”
CHICAGO - A new baby should bring a time of happiness for a family but what is frequently dismissed as the "baby blues" is a mental health condition called postpartum depression.
Uncontrollable crying, an inability to complete daily tasks, insomnia, oversleeping and low energy are common symptoms mothers experience and can last for weeks. In severe cases, thoughts of harming themselves, other people or their newborn may occur.
Dr. Robin Drake OB/GYN at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, said a strong support system can help but in some cases, it is ineffective.
"Asking for people to maybe help care for the baby so they have more time for a little bit of self-care," Drake recommended. "Having more time for rest, even showering, just getting a good meal in afterwards, are things that can be really helpful for mood but for many people, that's just not enough."
Drake suggested reaching out to a health care provider or psychotherapist for an assessment to rule out the existence of any other major health conditions or undiagnosed mental health concerns such as bipolar disorder. In 2019, House Bill 3511 was enacted to require the Illinois Department of Public Health to partner with the state's American Academy of Pediatrics to urge physicians to conduct postpartum mental health screenings at well-baby visits.
Extreme cases of postpartum depression lasting for weeks or even months may need medication to alleviate the symptoms. In 2019, the first medicines were formed but one drawback was a required brief hospital stay to help the treatment take effect.
Dr. Donna O'Shea, OB/GYN and chief medical officer for population health at UnitedHealthcare, described one drug which has produced better results in less time.
"This year, Xerove is an option that is in pill form that's taken daily for two weeks and can make a difference in three days," O'Shea explained. "There are many available treatments and paths a woman can go, depending on the severity of her symptoms."
O'Shea added most employers, with guidance from their health care providers, have an employee assistance program, which permits a worker to speak privately with a trained health professional at no cost. Other options include virtual behavioral health coaching or joining a women's postpartum discussion group.
The Illinois Department of Public Health reported in 2019, one in 10 women reported feelings of depression before, during and after her pregnancy.
The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-652-6262).
Keywords: Postpartum depression symptoms, Postpartum mental health treatment, Postpartum depression support resources
Illinois postpartum depression screenings, Xerove postpartum depression medication, National Maternal Mental Health Hotline
We see depression leads to difficulty with concentration
PEORIA - If you spend time on social media, chances are you’ve seen an ad asking, “Do you have ADHD?”
The ads lead to a self-diagnosing quiz and often provides viewers with misconceptions about attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), before they ever see a medical provider.
That’s where Kyle Boerke, PsyD, director of Behavioral Health Outpatient Services for OSF HealthCare, hopes to provide clarity.
ADHD starts in childhood, not in adulthood
“Are adults being diagnosed with ADHD? Absolutely, yes. Is it that they are developing ADHD in adulthood, that’s a no. We know enough about the research, that in order to receive a diagnosis of ADHD, we have to have symptoms starting in childhood. Somewhere near 7 years of age,” Dr. Boerke says.
If you’re having symptoms as an adult that appear to be ADHD, such as lack of focus, inability to sit still, fidgeting, or excessive talking, but you didn’t have these symptoms as a child, Dr. Boerke says you may be experiencing something else.
“We see depression leads to difficulty with concentration,” Dr. Boerke says. “Something inside of them will ring true (if they have ADHD), like if they always struggled with paying attention to their teacher in elementary school.”
What to do about an ADHD diagnosis?
“The easy answer is, we need to seek treatment from a professional,” Dr. Boerke says. “If you have thoughts that you’ve had ADHD symptoms for a long time and you take one of those online quizzes, that’s fine, that can be a starting point.” But he stresses, “I wouldn’t take that quiz and all of a sudden say ‘I have ADHD.’ A great place to start is with your primary care physician.”
Dr. Boerke adds that there’s no official test for ADHD. It’s a whole set of symptoms that include how it’s impacting your daily functioning and for how long.
There are three types of ADHD1: Predominantly Inattentive
“They’re not going to be jumping all over the place, moving from activity to activity,” Dr. Boerke says. “It’s just going to be some hard times focusing, concentrating or finishing a task because your mind gets switched over to a different task all of a sudden.”
2: Predominantly Impulsive/Hyperactive
“These are the kids that just can’t sit still. They’re up out of their seats in the classroom, and this is really where ADHD in children to adults’ changes,” Dr. Boerke explains. “As we age, we do a better job managing the motoric end of things. It’s not uncommon to see kids have a hard time sitting still, it’s more uncommon to see somebody in a business meeting get up and walk around the room.”
3: Combined Presentation
Dr. Boerke describes the third type this way: “You have inattention, plus you have hyperactivity and impulsivity,” Dr. Boerke says.
Do I need to take medicine if I have ADHD?
Dr. Boerke says medicine alone isn’t the answer.
“The analogy I’ll use is Bear Grylls from Man vs. Wild. He’s an adventurer on a TV show where he goes out into the wild and he has to survive for a number of days,” Dr. Boerke says. “I liken ADHD to being on a Bear Grylls survivor show. He can do it. ADHD management without medication is like Bear gets dropped in the middle of the Florida Everglades and he has to trudge through the swamps, battle the alligators, get past the snakes and manage to get out. Can he do it? Yes, he does. Is it easy? It sure isn’t.”
Dr. Boerke says ADHD medication is as if Bear Grylls was in the Florida Everglades and producers drop him a rescue boat.
“But the reality is, he still has to get himself into the airboat. He has to start it, steer it, and do the work. It’s just easier to do the work,” Dr. Boerke adds. “Medication is not the fix. It can help, but if you don’t change your lifestyle, put in some organizational tools and do the things necessary, we’re still not going to get better and you’re going to rely on the medication.”
If you’re an adult and think you have ADHD, Dr. Boerke says seeking medical attention by a professional is the best first step. Then, your medical provider will help map out a plan moving forward. This can include ADHD medication and working to keep a strict routine to help you manage any ADHD symptoms.
ALTON - Helping children feel comfortable in their home will lead to healthier and more successful times during those formative years. But it’s easier said than done, especially for non-traditional families. That’s why Jill Schreiber, LCSW, Ph.D., an OSF HealthCare psychotherapist, is making parents aware of resources and best practices.
Defining caregiving
Dr. Schreiber says while families look different across the world, in the United States a traditional family is seen as a mother, father and children. A mom and dad with adopted children would also fall into this category because the kids are a permanent part of the home.
A non-traditional family is any unit that falls outside of the traditional definition. Examples include parents who have divorced and re-married other partners, grandparents caring for kids, two moms or two dads in a family, adults co-parenting and children in care. Dr. Schreiber says children in care is the modern, accepted way of describing foster children, or children who are in a home temporarily. The adults are simply called caregivers, not foster parents. Dr. Schreiber, herself, is a former caregiver to children in care and a parent of adopted children.
Establishing routines
Dr. Schreiber says routines allow life to be “less chaotic and more predictable.” Settling into routines will take time. But Dr. Schreiber says when a child enters a new home, it can be scary. So having some structure right away is a good idea. Talk to the child about when it’s time to sleep, eat, do chores, do homework and have play time. For example, run through the morning routine – getting out of bed, having breakfast, getting ready in the bathroom and heading to school. Same for the wind down at the end of the day.
Keep in mind that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Certain parts of the year, like back-to-school season, are busier. Kids with attention deficits, for example, may need more help sticking to routines. A child who always got dinner from the gas station may not know what setting the dinner table is all about.
“Adjusting is constant,” Dr. Schreiber says. “Kids continue to evolve, develop and get older. You quit having naps, for example. You have to develop new routines as you go along.”
As the child adjusts, it’s good to review successes and struggles to modify expectations. Routines also may be different in different homes.
Don’t forget the essentials
While it may not fit the definition of a routine, Dr. Schreiber says non-traditional families should also have essentials for their children. Those things we take for granted are just as important to make the youngsters feel comfortable: working heat, air conditioning, plumbing and lights; safety items like smoke detectors; keeping items like guns locked away.
“It’s helpful for kids to have their own space, and it’s helpful for kids to know where their space is,” Dr. Schreiber adds.
“Kids who have come into care often come with garbage bags of their possessions. That’s such a tough symbol for children to feel like their stuff is garbage. So, to help them put their stuff into drawers or onto shelves is a really important step to show their value and connection to the family.”
Resources for parents
Parents who need help setting up routines can talk to a mental health professional, read a parenting book or take a parenting class. There are also “parent networks” like online forums where you can exchange advice. Those informal “networks” could also take the form of bonafide support groups. Your state’s child welfare agency may also offer tips. In fact, caregivers of children in care must undergo formal training from an organization like that.
PONTIAC - People everywhere are conquering their cabin fever and are enjoying the great outdoors after a long, bitter winter. But before you head out for that hike, health care experts remind you to take precautions to avoid tick bites. Read more . . .
CHICAGO - An Illinois law professor is weighing in on what she called a "very public and open test of due process" for immigrants being deported from the United States without court hearings. Read more . . .
CHAMPAIGN - In a show of solidarity against President Donald Trump's trade and immigration policies, which critics say are harming families and retirement savings, more than a thousand protesters gathered Saturday at West Park near downtown Champaign for the Hands-Off! Mobilization rally. Read more . . .
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by Colleen Reynolds
