Holidays are no time to talk turkey, avoiding stress and tension around the table

by Paul Arco
OSF Healthcare

The holidays are fast approaching. Families across the country will soon gather to break bread, exchange gifts and partake in each other’s company.

Photo provided

Therasa Yehling
Strive Trauma Recovery Center Manager

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But the holiday season can also be a time that heightens unwanted stress.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), nearly 90% of people feel some stress during the holiday seasons for several reasons – finances, the death of a loved one and potential family conflict. This year could be especially tough given the tension surrounding the recent presidential election. APA research found the election was a major stress point for 69% of people who responded, which was up from 52% in 2016.

“I think that people are usually stressed about being perfect, trying to do everything,” says Therasa Yehling, manager for the OSF Strive Trauma Recovery Center in Rockford, Illinois, and a licensed social worker. “It could be about money. Are they going to buy everything for everyone? And if you already have issues of mental illness, or having issues with money, it just adds another layer of stress. I think it's hard to deal with around that time.”

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Photo:KrakenImages on Unsplash

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Before coming together this year, Yehling says families should have a plan. Communicate before that get-together and talk about how it might be best to stay away from certain topics. Instead, Yehling says, reinforce the love you have for one another and show compassion and concern for those family members and friends who are gathered around the table that day. It sure beats debating politics with your cantankerous uncle over a slice of pumpkin pie.

“Let's talk about fun things,” says Yehling. “Let's talk about how your kids are doing, how your parents are doing. Really talking about things that bring people together. I think that's important to concentrate on.”

If your family has engaged in heated discussions during past holidays, reevaluate your plan. Maybe this year you decide to only spend a couple of hours at your gathering, instead of all day. And if you know that tensions will be high regardless, Yehling says it’s OK to let your feelings known and to work with family members to make other arrangements this year.

“It's not fair to put people at a place that you know they can't rise to,” she says. “I need to accept that. I can't change them, but I certainly can change me. I can change how I react. And you don’t have to go. Go later. We can eat turkey any other time. We can do things differently.”

Surround yourself with people who love and support you.

Many people will be grieving this holiday season. It could be the loss of a loved one or pet, a job, health issues or even the outcome of the election. “When it comes to losing your husband or somebody you know, give them grace, give them that space,” Yehling says. “Let them have a tear or two, and they'll be alright. Let them be.”

And limit your time on social media. Yehling says the best way to avoid overreacting to information you read is to think carefully about responding to posts that cause you angst. Turn off your notifications and reduce the amount of time you spend scrolling through Facebook or X, for example.

Yehling offers other tips to help people get through the upcoming holidays. Don’t over schedule yourself, limit your travel, keep a regular routine, including healthy eating and exercise. Other reminders are managing gift giving, don’t overindulge when it comes to food and alcohol and take time for yourself. Remember to take a needed break from the holiday madness by reading a book, listening to your favorite music, going for a long walk or just curling up for an afternoon nap.

Most importantly, surround yourself with people who love and support you.

“It’s about who is around you and how you interact,” Yehling adds. “What do you want to do? How do you want this to go? Oh, I want to have fun. Then have fun. Put that effort, put that focus into it.”

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State Volleyball |Calhoun sweeps Cissna Park to reach state volleyball championship match

Photo: Sentinel/Clark Brooks

Kate Zipprich along with teammates Joy Hurley and Stella Gress celebrates Calhoun's semifinal victory over Cissna Park. The Warriors advance to Saturday's 1A title match in their program's first appearance in the volleyball state tournament.

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NORMAL — The Calhoun Warriors wasted no time securing their spot in the Class 1A state volleyball championship, dispatching the Cissna Park Timberwolves in just 47 minutes during the IHSA Girls Volleyball State Finals at CEFCU Arena on Friday. The Warriors swept the semifinal match 25-16, 25-23, advancing to face Stockton for the state title.

Calhoun (38-2) controlled the match from the first whistle, seizing an early 5-0 lead in the opening set before Cissna Park (35-4) could get on the board with a kill from Sophie Duis. Powered by a balanced offensive attack and sharp defensive execution, the Warriors extended their lead to 17-7 after a powerful strike by Kate Zipprich. The Timberwolves struggled to recover, as Calhoun maintained their grip to close the set 25-16.

"It's been a remarkable season," Cissna Park head coach Josh Landon said after the game. "The grit and determination these girls have had all season long speaks for itself in terms of the deficits we have been able to overcome all year. I really felt like we put ourselves in a good situation despite losing that first set."

Regrouping for the second set, Cissna Park showed the resilience over and over again that Landon highlighted.

The Timberwolves traded points with Calhoun in a tightly contested battle featuring six ties in the first 14 points. Midway through the set, Cissna Park surged to a four-point lead, but the Warriors responded. With setter Lacy Pohlman orchestrating a crucial five-point run, Calhoun regained momentum, turning a 17-14 deficit into a 19-17 lead. From there, the Warriors maintained their composure to secure the two-set sweep.

"The handful of teams we played at the end of the season were outside dominate," Landon said. "They (Calhoun) possessed a middle attack we hadn't seen in several weeks. I'm not going to say that's the reason we weren't able to be successful today. We talked about defending that but you can talk all you want about defending a certain aspect of their game, but then it is a matter of executing it.

"We did that at times, and at times, we did not."

Zipprich paced Calhoun with 9 kills, while Joy Hurley added 8 and Abby Johnes contributed 6. Pohlman registered 24 assists, and Josie Hoagland led the defensive charge with 9 digs. Annie Wilson added 7 digs in a strong supporting effort.

For Cissna Park (35-4), Addison Lucht led all scorers with 12 kills and 6 digs. Duis and Josie Neukomm each contributed 6 kills, while Mady Marcott and Ella Schluter combined for 24 assists. Defensively, Kendyl Neukomm tallied 9 digs to anchor the Timberwolves’ back row.

Lucht, a junior who leads the team in kills with 351 heading into the state semifinal, said the loss, while disappointing, shouldn't ruin the team's championship weekend.

"There are hundreds of teams that wish they were in our shoes right now. I think we should take a step back and realize what a successful season we've had," she explained. The goal now being to come out with "a fresh mind and win the third place trophy."

Calhoun will meet Stockton, another first-time finalist, in the championship match on Saturday at 10:30 a.m.

"This is what we have been working for. It's kind of a dream come true," Zipprich said beaming ear-to-ear. "All these girls are like my best friends. To be here with them, it can't get much better than this."

Hurley is confident in her team outlok against the Lady Blackhawks. Her conviction is backed by 240 kills, 43 aces and 196 digs in addition to the stats she racked up against the Timberwolves.

"We will get out there and do what we know how to do," she said confidently. "We set a goal at the beginning of the season and we are going to make it happen."

Meanwhile, Cissna Park looks to improve on last year’s fourth-place finish when they face Hartsburg-Emden in the third-place match at 9 a.m.

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KEYWORDS: IHSA Girls Volleyball State Finals, Calhoun Warriors, Cissna Park Timberwolves