Some in-laws, particularly mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law, often interfere in a couple’s marriage, overstepping boundaries and causing conflict.
Dear Editor,
In the present day, too many marriages are being strangled, not by the couple, but by the in-laws who just refuse to mind their own business. Yes! It’s not lack of love, not money, not differences between husband and wife. It’s interference. Constant, shameless, toxic interference from in-laws — especially from mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law who think they have the right to run the marriage like it’s their proxy war.
Every day, mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law step into a marriage that does not belong to them, speaking ill of the wife, whispering poison into the husband’s ears, and trying to control decisions that are none of their concern in the first place. Let’s say it clearly: they are not part of the marriage. They are not the third, fourth, or fifth partner. They are outsiders to that matrimonial contract, yet they act as the hackers who have hijacked the couple’s shared operating system.
Let’s get this straight with in-laws: you are not part of the couple. You are not the wife. You are not the husband. You are not the decision-maker. You are not the critic-in-chief or quality assurance agent for their love. Yet so many mothers and sisters act like they were appointed to control every detail — what the wife should wear, the neckline of her blouse, the volume of her voice, how the husband should behave, where the couple's autonomy is exercised, even the calendar for conceiving a child. This is all madness disguised as “family involvement.”
In reality, it’s nothing but control, ego, and insecurity. The wife becomes a target of nonstop criticism, jealousy, and comparison. She is criticized for everything and anything: for speaking and for staying silent, for her opinions and for her clothes, for the food she makes and the air she breathes. These mothers and sisters poison the husband’s mind with their gossip, whispering, “She’s changed you,” “She’s controlling you,” “She’s taking you away from us.” And when he starts believing them, the marriage begins to bleed out and suffocate.
Let’s tell the truth: a mother’s role ends where her son’s marriage begins. He has graduated from his mother’s tutorial to his wife’s partnership. And a sister’s opinion holds no weight in her brother’s private life. A wife is not your toy to criticize, nor your competition to hate.
Against all falsehoods, stand this fact: one husband plus one wife equals a marriage. That’s it. No one else. The couple is grown, capable, and mature enough to make their own life decisions. They don’t need approval from anyone, not from a mother who wants to keep her son emotionally chained, not from sisters who think they have the right to interfere, and not from relatives who believe gossip is marital consultation or scholarly critique. This constant interference isn’t love…it’s psychological colonization and theft of privacy. Remember, a marriage doesn’t need a crowd. It needs boundaries, trust, and peace.
Yumna Zahid Ali Karachi, Pakistan
Yumna Zahid Ali is a writer and educator who spends her free time reading, analyzing literature, and exploring cultural and intellectual debates. When she’s not writing for global audiences, she enjoys reflecting on societal issues and using her voice to challenge inequities, especially those affecting women. She also loves diving into history, believing that remembering the past is an act of defiance and a way to hold power accountable.
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TAGS: toxic in-law interference in marriage, how family gossip destroys relationships, setting boundaries with controlling in-laws, effects of mother-in-law jealousy on marriage, protecting your marriage from outside influence
The Champaign Challenger opened with rising stars making strong statements. Japan’s Jay Friend overcame Alfredo Perez in a back-and-forth three-set battle, while American Adhithya Ganesan defeated Great Britain’s Oliver Okonkwo in straight sets.
CHAMPAIGN - The Paine Schwartz Partners Challenger opened its main draw Monday with a slate of competitive singles matches that set the tone for an event blending rising international talents with seasoned tour veterans.
In one of the day’s featured matches, 21-year-old Jay Friend of Japan battled past American Alfredo Perez in three sets, 6-4, 5-7, 6-3. Friend, who showcased a powerful and consistent first serve throughout the match, took control early by winning 86% of his first-serve points in the opening set. After a dip in accuracy during the second, the young right-hander regained command in the final frame, converting 83% of his first serves and maintaining steady composure from the baseline to secure the win. His next test comes against the winner of Tuesday’s match between top seed Nicolas Mejia of Colombia and Germany’s Cedrik-Marcel Stebe.
American Adhithya Ganesan also advanced with a confident straight-sets victory over Great Britain’s Oliver Okonkwo, 6-3, 7-5. Ganesan’s sharp return game and reliable service rhythm proved decisive, as he won 65% of his overall service points and captured 31 points on return. Okonkwo, a former University of Illinois standout, managed a solid 67% success rate on first serves but faltered on his second serve, winning just 9 of 25 points. His tournament, however, continues in doubles, where he’ll reunite with fellow Illini alumnus Kenta Miyoshi.
As the tournament continues on the indoor hard courts of the Atkins Tennis Center, Tuesday’s lineup brings the top two seeds into play. No. 1 Nicolas Mejia faces Stebe following the morning matches on the Schwartz Court, while No. 2 Johannus Monday of Great Britain meets American Micah Braswell at 10 a.m. on the Goldberg Court.
Monday's results and Tuesday tournament schedule are available below.
Results - Monday, 10 November 2025
Men's Singles - Round of 32
Jay Friend (JPN) def Alfredo Perez (USA) 6-4, 5-7, 6-3
[WC] Adam Jilly (HUN) def Keegan Smith (USA) 6-4, 6-2
[Alt] Adhithya Ganesan (USA) def [WC] Oliver Okonkwo (GBR) 6-3, 7-5
Alex Martinez (ESP) def [7] Saba Purtseladze (GEO) 7-5, 3-6, 7-6(7)
[4] Murphy Cassone (USA) def [JR] Hoyoung Roh (KOR) 6-0, 6-2 Men's Qualifying Singles - Qualifying Round 2
[7] Ryan Fishback (USA) def [3] Jacob Brumm (USA) 6-2, 3-0 Retired
[4] Shunsuke Mitsui (JPN) def [10] Ryan Seggerman (USA) 6-7(4), 6-3, 6-4
[WC] Jeremy Zhang (AUS) def [2] Quinn Vandecasteele (USA) 7-5, 6-4
[1] Lui Maxted (GBR) def [WC] Marcel Latak (USA) 7-5, 6-2
[Alt] Taym Al Azmeh (GER) def [9] Maik Steiner (GER) 7-5, 6-4
[6] Pablo Martinez Gomez (ESP) def Noah Zamora (USA) 4-6, 6-4, 7-6(7)
Order of play for November 11, 2025
Starting at 10:00 a.m. on the Schwartz Court:
[Q] Shunsuke Mitsui (JPN) vs [8] Tyler Zink (USA)
Stefan Kozlov (USA) vs Leo Borg (SWE)
[1] Nicolas Mejia (COL) vs Cedrik-Marcel Stebe (GER) Not Before 4:00 p.m.
Kenta Miyoshi (JPN) vs [LL] Quinn Vandecasteele (USA)
Not Before 6:00 p.m.
Aidan McHugh (GBR) vs [Q] Jeremy Zhang (AUS)
[WC] Sasha Colleu (FRA) vs [Q] Taym Al Azmeh (GER)
Starting at 10:00 a.m. on the Goldenberg Court:
Micah Braswell (USA) vs [2] Johannus Monday (GBR)
[5] Mats Rosenkranz (GER) vs [Q] Pablo Martinez Gomez (ESP)
[Q] Lui Maxted (GBR) vs Arda Azkara (TUR)
[6] Andres Martin (USA) vs [Q] Ryan Fishback (USA) Not Before 5:00 p.m.
Stefan Kozlov (USA) / Brandon Perez (VEN)
vs Patrick Harper (AUS) / Shunsuke Mitsui (JPN)
Erik Arutiunian / Saba Purtseladze (GEO)
vs Zachary Fuchs (USA) / Wally Thayne (USA)
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TAGS: Paine Schwartz Partners Challenger results, Champaign tennis tournament 2025, Jay Friend ATP Challenger win, Adhithya Ganesan Champaign match recap, University of Illinois tennis news
Durbin was among 8 Democratic senators to back plan to reopen federal government. The plan angered many top Illinois Democrats such as Gov. JB Pritzker and three candidates running to replace Durbin.
by Ben Szalinski Capitol News Illinois
U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin is once again at odds with other prominent Illinois Democrats over a vote that set in motion a plan to end the record-long federal government shutdown.
Durbin, who is not seeking reelection in 2026, was one of eight members in the Senate Democratic caucus to join Republicans in supporting a procedural vote to begin the process of passing legislation to fund the government, which entered its 41st day without a budget on Monday. But that package will not include health care subsidies that Democrats had demanded be included in a bill to reopen the government.
“Republicans finally woke up and realized their Groundhog Day needed to end,” Durbin said in a statement Sunday night. “This bill is not perfect, but it takes important steps to reduce their shutdown’s hurt. Not only would it fully fund SNAP for the year ahead, but it would reverse the mass firings the Trump Administration ordered throughout the shutdown.”
Senate Democrats believe they secured a promise from Senate Republican leaders to hold a Senate vote on the Affordable Care Act tax credits. The tax credits expire at the end of the year, setting the stage for health care premiums to skyrocket. Congressional Democrats have refused for more than a month to vote for any bill that did not include new health care tax credits to rein in costs.
But many of Illinois’ top Democrats are opposed to the Durbin-backed funding plan. It also marks the second time this year Durbin has found himself at odds with Gov. JB Pritzker over a Senate vote to fund the government.
Photo: Capitol News Illinois/Jerry Norwicki
Gov. JB Pritzker takes reporters’ questions outside the Illinois State Board of Elections building in Springfield on Oct. 27, 2025.
Pritzker, who is widely discussed as a possible 2028 presidential candidate, said he favors continuing to fight President Donald Trump with a government shutdown, which many Democrats believe gives their party leverage to force Republicans to support funding the ACA subsidies.
“This is not a deal — it's an empty promise,” Gov. JB Pritzker said on social media. “Trump and his Republican Congress are making healthcare more expensive for the middle class and ending it for working families. Time for Democrats to stand tall for affordable healthcare.”
Durbin also sided with Republicans in March and voted for the spending plan that kept the government open through September. That triggered outrage from many Democrats who favored shutting down the government at the time to make it harder for Trump to implement his agenda.
Pritzker said in March that Durbin’s decision was a “huge mistake,” and he was “dead wrong.”
Congressional Dems doubt leverage
The Senate’s vote on Sunday sets the stage for the chamber to pass substantive legislation to fund the government through Jan. 30, but it will require the House’s approval and Trump’s signature first. That timeline remains unclear.
CNN reported the plan would fully fund Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program benefits through next September and reverses Trump’s firing of federal workers during the shutdown.
I lived through more than 50 attempts by Donald Trump in his first term to repeal Obamacare
Durbin said Republicans own the blame for the shutdown, adding he believes Democrats can claim victory with the vote.
“Now that Democrats secured these wins, it’s time for Leader (John) Thune to keep his promise to schedule a vote on the ACA tax credits in December, and we will see to it that he makes good on his word for the millions of Americans worried they won’t be able to afford health care in January,” Durbin said.
Many, including Illinois Sen. Tammy Duckworth, want congressional Democrats to continue holding out for ACA tax credits.
“I simply cannot, and I will not, vote to do nothing to help protect them (families) from Trump’s vindictive and malicious efforts in exchange for a vague promise from the least trustworthy Republican party in our nation’s history,” Duckworth said in a statement after voting against the procedural vote on Sunday.
Photo: Capitol News Illinois/Jerry Norwicki
U.S. Sen. Tammy Duckworth speaks at the Illinois Democratic County Chairs’ Association brunch.
U.S. Rep. Sean Casten, a Democrat from Downers Grove, ripped Durbin and the seven other Senate Democrats who sided with Republicans. He said on social media that Democrats “trusting” Republicans on an ACA vote is like “a liar convincing a sucker.”
“A sucker for believing the lie, and for believing (House Speaker Mike) Johnson will ever bring it up in the House,” he wrote.
Candidates disagree with Durbin
The three leading Democrats running to replace Durbin are all opposed to the plan to reopen the government.
“The Republican shutdown has caused immense suffering for Illinois families, and that pain will be compounded exponentially because Democrats let the GOP off the hook,” Lt. Gov. Juliana Stratton said in a statement. “While we all want to see food assistance fully funded and federal workers paid and protected, healthcare for millions of Americans cannot be the tradeoff. An empty promise is not enough.”
Stratton also publicly criticized Durbin’s vote in March.
Reps. Robin Kelly, of Lynwood, and Raja Krishnamoorthi, of Schaumburg, said they will vote against the funding plan whenever it arrives in the House.
“We will not cave to broken promises from Trump and the GOP who have sold the American people a bill of goods on so many things, but especially their access to quality healthcare,” Kelly said in a statement.
Krishnamoorthi said his red line will continue to be whether ACA credits are preserved.
“I lived through more than 50 attempts by Donald Trump in his first term to repeal Obamacare and continued statements that he’s going to gut the Affordable Care Act now,” Krishnamoorthi said in a video statement on Monday. “So I cannot in good conscious believe that all of the sudden he’s going to take actions right now to strengthen Obamacare.”
Bill signals end to flight delays, SNAP woes
Illinois has seen escalating impacts from the record government shutdown.
Photo: Capitol News Illinois/Jerry Norwicki
U.S. Rep. Raja Krishnamoorthi speaks to a gathering of Democrats in Springfield on Aug. 13, 2025.
About 2 million people have been stuck in limbo this month over whether they will receive federal food benefits from SNAP. The U.S. Department of Agriculture told states last month that they would not distribute November SNAP benefits as the shutdown continued.
Whether USDA must use contingency funds to pay full benefits has been an ongoing legal battle in the federal court system since Nov. 1.
Travelers through Chicago’s airports could also see some relief when the government reopens. A growing number of air traffic controllers have called out of work after not getting paid for the last month, leading the Federal Aviation Administration last week to require airlines to cancel flights at 40 airports, including O’Hare and Midway, because of staffing shortages that cause delays to stack up.
O’Hare was one of the worst airports for delays on Sunday, according to FlightAware, with 16% of departures canceled and 53% delayed.
Capitol News Illinois is a nonprofit, nonpartisan news service that distributes state government coverage to hundreds of news outlets statewide. It is funded primarily by the Illinois Press Foundation and the Robert R. McCormick Foundation.
